Day 27

Feel really weird, because I simply cannot sabotage myself.

If I had been this good on slimming world and NOT lost weight I would MOST DEFINITELY had a Chinese last night, and NO HOLDING BACK. I would have enjoyed every sodding bite.

However, last night i had a healthy living meal from tesco 'cos I didn't get in from work until 10:30pm. I ate it and it was ok. I thought about eating a bag of crisps, but the thought turned my stomach.

I am not sure whether this is good, or not. I guess its good for my FAT CARCASS, but not good for my Psyche.

I am SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am most upset, and I am not TOTALLY sure why. I am not totally convinced that I am upset because of staying the same, but rather because I am to ambitious in weight loss. I think maybe I am upset with myself for not thinking of the big picture...

I have, after all, lost 15lbs in 4 weeks. That's pretty damn good actually.

I am not going to obsess any more. I am going to eat, and be done with it. I cant help if I am eating too few calories, if I am full can I?

I bet them scrawny bints on magazines don't worry about eating too little.

Yeah, thought not.

I am full, and happy and content, and surely that is what matters...

Oh I don't know. Too confused and baffled by all the different ways I have been told to look at food over the years.

Stuff it.

This band will work, I am having a fill on Thursday, so its just going to work and that's it.

Contrary to what I have just said... I will take advice and eat a few more calories, even if it means adding mayo to my mackerel or having real butter to make my scrambled egg. I promise I will be a good girl.

*

I actually feel pretty grim. I feel like I should just eat liquids today. I know its weird, but I feel blocked up... like I did the other day. I can feel a hard feeling when I breathe in deeply.

I am going to flush myself today and see if I feel better. I wonder if those grapes are still stuck in there...

I don't want to eat meat tenderiser!!! I have heard that's the only way to get rid of a blockage.

yuk