10 Weeks + 4 days post banding

Well, I have just had my first meal after finishing liquids. I am rather EXACT when it comes to timing. He said I couldn't have any solids for 3 days, so exactly 3 days - to the hour - I had some food!

Today's food has been
a slimfast shake
a slimfast smoothie (nice, more sour than the sickly normal shakes)
Activia Kiwi x2
1 slice of toast and baked beans with some grated cheese.

I am full.

After one slice that's good. I didn't puke or have any other dodgy side effects.. no pain and water so far (you know, the pain in the chest and the saliva production pre vomiting that usually amounts to nothing).

So I am a happy girl.

I have to again take it easy. Chew VERY slowly, chew VERY well and try not to stress too much.

We had my Mum and Dad up today. They thought that the decorating looked very good. They also said how well I was looking, which was nice too. They are off to the Dom Rep next week, and then when they get back we go off to Sri Lanka, so it will b at least 6 or 7 weeks until we see them again. Hopefully they will notice some more difference in my weight loss by then.

I have noticed that I have 'bingo wings'.

I am pretty sure that I did not have them 10 weeks ago. Even 4 weeks ago I don't think I had them, so it looks like the fat is going from my arms... But its leaving horrible floppy arms. I am not very happy about this. I have so many stretch marks on my inner arms, right down to the crook of my elbow, that I know its not going to look pretty.

My Mum said it will probably tone up, and so have the other people I have shown it too, but I really don't think that's the case. Its too far gone. Its so stretch marked that they criss cross each other. I wasn't blessed with elastic skin, and even when I was slim as a teenager I had big time stretch marks on my bust, back of knees and hips. I am just one of those people. I am having horror nightmares about having a corrugated stomach, bum, legs and arms. this is just the most horrible thing that could happen. I also know that I could not go through with Plastic surgery. I just couldn't. I am already practically sick when I think of having it done. My Mum had a tummy tuck and she nearly died. ts not that that worries me. I know the risks, obviously , otherwise I would not have had any kind of operation in the first place. The operation is not the issue, its the sheer pain. I simply cannot go through any more pain.

I have never had an elective operation before my banding, and for me this is a whole different thing to a surgery that you need to have for medical reasons. I did need this surgery, but more for me than anything else. Unlike my other operations (of which I have had about 5 or 6 general anaesthetics) which were wholly medical and endangering my life had I not had them done.

I can justify that kind of operation in my head, but I dd find the pressure difficult seeing as I was putting myself into this position when having the band. I kind of felt like I deserved everything I got seeing as I had it done. Thankfully nothing went wrong, just the pain I was expecting... but it was weird knowing I had chosen to have that pain, rather than being told I had to have it by a doctor.

I don't know if I am making sense here or not. Its very hard to describe my mindset.

But, I know that I could not have any more elective surgery. I will just live with the body I get at the end of this banding experience. At any rate it will surely be a whole lot nicer than the fat suit I have been wearing for the past 10 years. If I can live with looking the way I did at 19 stone, then I can live with a little bit of skin. And what were sleeves made for anyway! :o)

Anyway, I feel really positive about this fill. I seem to have more restriction, certainly not too much which is good.

I will be posting another photo in about 10 days, my 3 month photo. So keep 'em peeled.

Weigh in tomorrow at slimmingworld and the chemist. I still have 4 more paid for sessions, so I might as well use them.

Nighty night

Oh, I just had a night time feast of a slice of cheese on toast with bbq sauce. MMM YUMMY