Back on Solids

Everyone, I have to say I could not stick the liquids.

I simply could not do it.

Last night I cooked the boys tea and made the decision that I was going to eat as well.

I made sure I chewed well and ate slowly and that every mouthful went down OK.

I was fine. I was also fine this morning and breakfast (an omelet) went down nicely too. I am going to steer clear of dry foods for the moment, and stick to stuff with gravy or sauce or that are generally 'wet'.

I have read so many different surgeons opinions on the post fill diet. They range from saying 2 weeks of liquids followed by mushies to eat normally and see how you go.

How on earth do they expect us to cope with this band when everyone - including the people who deal with your care - say something different.

Basically I think I know my body better than anyone else, so that's what I am going to go by.
If it feels wrong, then I wont do it.

I am going to up my fluid intake too. I don't think I am drinking enough between meals. I am going to try to drink at least 2 pints of liquid between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner. I find that it helps to keep me full to be honest. If I am a bit peckish, having a drink or squash fills me up for about 20 minutes and takes my mind off snacking or grazing.

I had my breakfast at 10:30am and its 2pm now and I am still not hungry. I made a 3 egg omelet with onions and a tiny amount of grated cheese and I would say I ate 2 thirds of it. I feel good that I left something on my plate. Last nights meal I ate completely... it was a WFF meal again, but I was able to eat the lot. I didn't have a pudding though, as I know that that would have been too much food.

For me, I think I should be leaving the plate with food on it. that's how I envisioned it when I had the band. I really thought I would be full on an egg cup of food. Evidently that is still not the case, so I am going to have my next fill on the 30th for sure.

When I was discussing this with Dr. C yesterday and saying "I really don't think I should be eating that much..." He said "Well my wife eats well. She has a plate full of food. You want to be able to eat and enjoy your food and not starve" which I get, but for goodness sake! I have had a lap band to make me eat less.... I actually want to starve... I thought that was the point! Being able to starve without realising it. And Yes! Truth be told I AM eating less that I did in February, but its still a bloody lot in my honest opinion. Especially when I read about other people who can only manage half a lean cuisine meal or whatever. I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT. I don't give a flying fig if it looks stupid to leave food on the plate, or if people ask if there is something wrong with my food. In fact I cant WAIT for them to say stuff like that. It will mean I really am eating less. I want to be able to eat a saucer of food and feel stuffed. Honestly. If that means I need 176 fills then bring it on! I know what I am like and I know that if I CAN eat more, I WILL. I don't have willpower when it comes to food. That's why I stumped up my hard earned cash and had the surgery.

I wish I could explain it better, but I feel like the band and I will have achieved perfect harmony with each other when I can't eat a whole meal. Bottom line.

We are not there yet, so it still needs a couple of ml or 3!

Hopefully I will get on with the other Doctor better. I really didn't like Dr. C. I thought he was snide and sarcastic. I felt like an uneducated fat cow in his eyes. Like someone who is a bit dippy and doesn't know what they have done and who needs everything explaining in baby language and diagrams and I felt patronised to be honest.

I said to him... "To be honest, I don't really feel like I have any restriction at all. I can eat what I want, any amount of it and when ever I want to."

He said "Well are you eating less that you used to" with a little play of a snide smile around his lips... inferring that I do have restriction. Of COURSE I am eating less that i did before the operation. Yes of course you stupid git! Of course I am eating less, but what I am telling you is that I still don't have any MORE restriction than I had last month... especially as I weighed 17stone on his rubbish scales. (I KNEW that I wasn't 15 stone 6 last month when he weighed me! I told him they were up the shonker at the time too! By his scales I have gained 1 and a half stone in a month! [For the benefit of anyone who doesn't remember what I am on about here, Last time I had a fill he weighed me and I was 15 stone 6 on his scales (216lbs). I of course was flabbergasted as my scales, slimmingworlds scales and the chemists scales all said 16 stone 6 (230lbs)! I told him they were wrong, but he would not have it and told me they were calibrated and all that jazz. Well guess who was actually right?? When he weighed me yesterday they said 17 stone (238lbs) which is ALSO wrong, but there we go.])

Back to topic, I don't talk to people trying to be absolutely precise with my English grammar. I should have said "I have some restriction, but no more restriction than I had at the beginning of this debacle." But for God's sake! He knew what I meant. Everyone else does.

He just infuriated me with his play on my words. The only reason I didn't go off on one at him was because I wanted the flipping fill BAD. I had to bite my tongue though! I am just not like that normally but the guy is such a snide nasty bloke and really rubs me up the wrong way.

This is not the first or only case of similar conversations with him. Imagine those programmes where you see someone in the witness box and you know exactly what the person is trying to say, but the lawyer twists it so that they cleverly manoeuvre the witness to admit something in such a way that it sounds bad... You know that kind of thing. Well he has SERIOUSLY missed his vocation man.

On a brighter note, the receptionist has obviously had some kind of pleasure recently as she was positively pleasant. Either that or she reads this blog! HA HA. She actually spoke to me as if I had a pulse and was from earth for a change. WOW.

Well at least I don't have to go back there. Its such a depressing town, Tamworth. No wonder they have to have a massive surgery... its truly humongous. 2 storeys and goodness knows how many doctors. I wouldn't wonder if everyone in the town is getting treated for depression or SAD or something. Its grim.

So, that's all for today. I have to go to work at 3:30pm. Tomorrow I have to work in the morning, but my afternoon appointment has cancelled as the little darling has a party to go to. *huge sigh* But that means that DS and I can start building our swimming pool! I am really looking forward to doing it. Its a huge project, but it will be brilliant. It will be a metre deep and 3 metres by 3 metres square. Big enough to float in and cool down at any rate. Also decided that I am going to give my kitchen a face lift. I have ordered new door knobs for it (Cream porcelain) and I am going to stick beading on the doors and make it look rustic - shabby chic - with cream paint. My good old Travelling Buddy is going to do it. Shes wicked at that kind of stuff. I just have to prepare it for her. Cool.