Slimfast 200
+
Venison 312
+
Beef and stout pie 602
=
1114 cals
I am continuing to eat SHAG ALL, but still seem to be losing nothing.....
HELOOOOOOOOOOO
Anyway, I am feeling under appreciated because of... like... stuff....
I don't know. Does anyone else every feel like this?
I seem to run my butt off for my family. I educate, work, clean, cook, build ad goodness knows what else, and am constantly doing stuff. Every time I turn around DH has wandered off to the TV or PC and DS has left his work and gone off to play the PS2.
I have to be constantly nagging at both of them... One "get up and help me" the other "Get some clothes on". DS seems to spend half of every day in the nude. This was endearing when he was 2 and all he wandered about in was a sun hat and tellytubbie wellies... but at 8 and a half I think he should be able to manage to get dressed without me nagging "Pants!" .... "Socks NOW!" "Put your shirt on"... "What did I say, get those socks on!"... "Where are your trousers gone?".... Get your shirt on again"... "Where are you socks" until I give up and think... well hey, at least hes liberated.
But its just another thing to add to my list of chores.
I really wish my life was like one of those novels.... where the dashing husband comes home (and the house is all neat and tidy and well cared for) and ravishes the wife on the kitchen worktop whilst little johnny is handily at a friends house. Then they sit and chat cosily while she twiddles her hair and he massages her feet in his lap... Crap like that. Then they have a candle lit dinner lazily, and the plates disappear magically and stuff... Then after only one glass of wine and immaculate make up they both slither off to bed (the child would have gone to be magically on his won of course) and then make love again for about... Oh I dunno...more than 5 minutes anyway!!
The sheets would still be ironing board flat and the room would smell all lush with roses and shit.
And that would happen every day.
Oh jeez, the reality.
Oh, and she would be bought expensive little goodies at least once a week because he was thinking of her, and at least once a year buy her something really special as a surprise - over £10 and not from the garage up the road.
One of the last pressies I bough DH cost £350. My money is his money, and his money is my money.... we don't do that "who's gonna buy the food this month..?" rubbish... we just have one account and pool all the dosh. Now, I still was able to wangle it so that he didn't notice that I had bought him something so nice.
He has had trousers, shirts, a nice pair of shoes, all kids of things...
The last thing that Phil bought me was a lovely necklace for £25. I can't really call it a pressie, but it would have been so nice, except that I had to hint so amazingly badly that I was practically buying it myself. So I kind of don't think about it as a gift... so it has to be the bouquet of flowers that he got for me (from Tesco) when I came back from my Lap Band operation in February.
Now, we did go on a fabulous holiday that cost an arm and a leg, but I don't consider that a gift... that was all of us. I am talking about specific Nice Ladies Things that can be shared across a pillow and involve delight and exquisiteness. I cant think of anything more lovely than lying there talking and then getting a little box given to me all wrapped up in a bow with a pair of earrings or something.
These things cost just a couple of quid... its not the money, its the thought. It could be a sodding stone off of the beach for all I care, but the timing and the thought....
I just realised why I am feeling like this again.... Its another anniversary of one of my dead babies. I lost it just before we got married... So 10 years ago today.
Great.
I wish I never remembered. No one else does.
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