I wanna know if the scales yell OUCH!

I am desperate to weigh myself... but I know I mustn't.

I know it will be really cool if I can stick to this plan for the rest of the week and on Monday hop on the scales at Tesco and see what delight they have in store for me...

But I also know that if I hop on now, there is a BIG possibility that I will have lost 3 pound or something and that will make me feel instantly cool and excited about what it will be on Monday... and Monday will roll around and I wont be as excited and happy as I would have been cos it will say just 4 or something... whereas if I wait till Monday and it says 4lb off then I will be Jumping up and down in Glee!!

I am such a psycho. Someone needs to study the minds of dieters and people like me. We just don't think normally man. I swear my life would be a whole lot easier if I didn't have these hang ups.

I must also try to get out of the habit of thinking that I ma doing this until Monday.. I have to do this PERIOD! I have to eat less FOREVER. I have to eat low cals ALWAYS AND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Its like I look at it as some kind of race. Once I get the the finish line (monday) I can sit down and not worry. The trouble is the finish line is millions of days away yet, not just Monday!

I need some motivation. I am really quite starving TBH.

I have really really really stuck to it today. I have had:

Ultra slim shake - 220
Ultra slim shake - 220
apple - 60
I tablespoon of rice - (god knows how many cals - I was so friggin' hungry I ate the scraps off my sons lunch plate! )

That's it. I have also drunk 3 cups of coffee and 2 pints of fizzy water with lemon in which is quite nice.

Its getting on for tea time now. I have spent all day busy on the beast looking up flights, holidays and camping places etc etc. I want to go away. I very very nearly booked a weekend in Sweden which would have been nice. Then I thought better of it and nearly booked another place in Denmark, but they didn't have a hotel available... so am guessing the reason is that there is actually nothing there to interest anyone and that's why there was only one hotel there. What town has one hotel??

Anyway, I then looked up camp sites in Sussex. I thought it might be nice to go to the seaside and catch up with old Friends and stuff and DH can work while we are there too. We did it last year and it was great. But its like £140 just to camp in someones poxy field for a week. I cant justify that when I could have my weekend in Sweden in a hotel for less!

This country rips the absolute guts out of you. What has happened to the £3 a night pitches like I used when I was a kid? I mean, good grief, its only a field with a toilet in it. If they had andrex and nice soap in the hand washing utensils, and maybe someone who could slop the piss from the floor more than once a week, then I might see why they would need to maybe charge... um... i don't know... £3.50 a night, but good grief. Its a field!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could say that the more you pay the better you get, but thats simply not right.

How can they justify £9 per person per pitch per night...??? I mean you can get a nice cosy en-suite travel lodge for £35 a night and you don't have all the hassle either.

Anyway, no doubt we will end up handing over some hard earned cash to impoverished farmers who should be growing things in their fields, but can't because the government pays them NOT to so they have to resort to ripping of campers.

What a country.

UPDATE to FOOD DIARY
Honey and Mustard chicken - 330
Rubard pie and custard - 260
banana - dunno off hand

So I know I have had my 1000 cals... how can anyone survive on this. 1000 cals is well hard.