This has been a particularly bad fill. It usual to have 3 or 4 days sore, but I guess with the infection, it takes its toll a little more.
I was tempted to try and clean the house up today, but I decided that it really was best for me to just stay put, and now I am glad because I don't have any pain in my side at all... it just feels a bit delicate so I am simply being really careful walking about and bending and things.
This has been THE worst time for our H.K. to take a week off. I was so looking forward to Wednesday when she was coming back, but she phoned and asked for an extension until Monday. To be honest, It doesn't bother me, I just get to save my money but I do think she is taking a bit of a liberty to be honest. If you phoned up after being on holiday for a week and asked for another 5 days what would your boss say...? Hmm. Yeah "NO!" springs to mind. But there we go. Her next holiday will be on the 20th December when we all go to Russia. We get back on the 30th December, and then are going to France on the 2nd January for a week, so she will have a nice long holiday then. I don't think I am being unfair to be honest. She goes home every Friday afternoon until Monday evening every week anyway, so she is pushing it a bit I think.
anyway, I am not bothered to be honest. Its one less mouth to feed for a week when I am not working.
Today's food:
Breakfast:
2 Weetabix with milk and 2 tsp sugar
Coffee
Lunch:
1 tomato and 1 shape lasting sensation yogurt
1 pint squash
Snack:
8 grapes
Dinner:
1 small Jacket potato, 3 chicken breast strips/goujons and peas and sweetcorn.
So pretty good day today. I will update this portion if there is anything significant to add.
I have to say that obviously I am in bed all day, and I am trying with all my might to restrict the food intake so that when I feel full I stop, or once I have finished what I am eating, wait 20 minutes and see if I am full or not. So far its been working, but I must stress that I know I could have had 3 weetabix, and I know I would have preferred more than just a tomato and yogurt for my dinner... but I haven't been up for 6 days guys. I am conscious too that time in bed = no calories burnt... So I have to be even more careful. I think I can keep it up at least till I see Dr. Dillemans by which time he will fill me up some more and hopefully we shall be cooking on gas!
That said, it has shown me how I just assume that I need more food, when infact I don't. I am perfectly content with everything I have eaten today. I am looking forward to my dinner but I am not starving hungry. Its a case of cravings. If I am eating something I like, then I want more. Pretty easy equation I guess. So this is where I have my battle. I WANT more, but i don't actually NEED more.
It struck me last night as I was watching a programme about a 34 stone teenager who lived in Lincoln that there is no help for us. We don't get a dieting equivalent to methadone. We don't get a dieting equivalent to nicotine. We cant even do cold turkey like an alcoholic. We have to have our drug every day. No wonder this is the hardest struggle ever. Once you are 'addicted' to food then you are going to have a continuous battle for the rest of your life.
There must be a reason I get low and eat, or I get worried and eat, or something. Why don't I get worried and go for a run..? or shooting or something. I wish I could unravel this knot of misery. Why cant someone invent patches with the happy hormone serotonin when we feel like eating a mars bar, or a patch with endorphines to make us feel happy when we are low.
Jeez. I could go on and on. The worst thing is that we have to keep taking our 'drug' to survive, and no ones ever going to quit giving up crack cocaine by having a hit 3 times a day, so how are we going to do this, and how come others don't get this?
DH is of playing badminton with TB's husband tonight and I know that DS is itching to go with them. I hope they take him as he has been such a good boy these last few days. All going well with my port pain and all that we are going to take him to the Robin Hood Experience on Saturday. Should be good! They do banquets there in the evening from 7pm until 1am for £40 a person. Why didn't I know that before I got banded!! RARR I would well loved to go to that.
We toyed with the idea of having a medieval banquet for our 10th wedding anniversary before we decided to go to Sri Lanka. Boo Hoo.
Oh, and some cool news... we are going to Malta next year for our summer holiday. It wont be the same luxurious holiday that we had this year, but its still a 4* place and looks really good. Lots to do and nice and hot! YAY. Hopefully I will be MUCH lower in June 2008 than I was this year. So we have 3 holidays to look forward to:
Moscow on 21st December
France on 2nd January
Malta on 5th June
Yipee
I am really looking forward to Russia. Our visa will be back tomorrow, and that's going to be well cool to see a Russian visa in our passports. We are coming back on the train via Latvia. So we are going to catch the train in Moscow at 9pm on the 28th on December and travel through the night in a sleeping compartment to Riga in Latvia. It goes via all kinds of Russian towns including St. Petersburg. WOW. We will see a lot when we wake up in the morning and it will be a great experience for us all especially DS. He is one well travelled boy!
Just joined a REALLY cool calorie counting programme. http://www.thedailyplate.com/
You can use it for free to calculate how many cals you have had each day, but I actually joined as it was only £18.00 for the year. It will help me keep track of my food intake and I can be sure of cals too. If I am not going to slimmingworld, then I like to have something to chart myself with.
Check it out
My stats for today:
They say I should aim for 1800 cals to lose 2 pounds a week. Interesting.
Totals & % of my recommended daily intake
Cals 866 43.3%
Fat 6g 9.32%
Cholesterol 80mg 26.67%
Sodium 1,175mg 48.97%
Carbs 163g 54.47%
Sugars 65g n/a
Fibre 24g n/a
Protein 55g 110.36%
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