Do I need a fill...?

Hey! Its paranoid girl here.

I really feel like I have been thrown in at the deep end with this band.

One day I am choking on my tablets, and the next I can eat a Sunday lunch and pudding.

Oh I am so worried. Its wrecking my mental balance completely.

Before I carry on let me tell you today's food:
Breakfast: 100g Quaker granola
Lunch: glass of fruit juice and 100g cashew nuts slice of bread and a small piece of Serrano ham
Snack: Muller corner
Dinner: thick slice roast beef (equivalent to size of 1 chicken breast), 1 tbsp cabbage, 2 tbsp runner beans, 1 half roast potato, 1 roast parsnip, 2 broccoli florets, 1tsp horseradish sauce, bisto, 1/4 of syrup sponge pudding (home made) about the size of a fist with custard.

All in all about 1800 cals today.

Now, I think that last meal was a lot. I was chewing well, and I must admit I was thinking "am I full? What about now?" throughout it, but the answer was not a complete or definite yes.

I know that I would definitely have eaten more this time 5 weeks ago. Maybe it was because I had not had much food throughout the day...?

I am now fretting about the following:
1.) The band is broken and I am going to put on weight
2.) I am going to put on weight
3.) I need a fill and I will stop losing weight until I get one
4.) I am going to put on weight
5.) The band is broken (does anything hurt? any clues?)
6.) Oh no, what if I don't lose weight?
7.) Maybe its not going to work for me
8.) The band is broken and I am back to square one
9.) I am going to put on weight...Do I need a fill?
10.) Will I ever lose weight?

etc etc etc etc

Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone else find they can sometimes eat loads, and other times nothing at all? I mean yesterday I had just the smallest amount of my dinner and I HAD to stop. in know there was no way on this earth that I could have eaten another mouthful. But today... different story.

If this happens a lot then I can handle it. Its just not knowing what to expect that is messing my mind around. Is it truly possible to wake up one day and feel no restriction at all and know you need a fill or does it creep up slowly over a few weeks and you realise that you are not so satisfied at every meal?

I am guessing that what happened to me today was just one of those things and the fact that yesterday I could not eat my dinner at all means that my band is totally cool and I have good restriction. I am sure you cant just wake up the next day and everything is slack. its not possible surely. That why now I am worried again that my band is busted, and I have to talk myself into believing in it this time and trusting that it will go the distance (HELP!). I don't have any pain like I did back in May. I don't have any pain like I did after my fills. I am a bit sore around my port area, but I can bend, stretch, shower, walk, sit and do a lot of things that I couldn't just a few short weeks ago. I really think the soreness is simply down to being plain sore after an operation and a little bit to do with being a bit bloated from my * week.

Ok, I have talked myself out of my worries.

Or have I?

Oh dear...