Welcome to Stressville

Tuesday was a 15-hour day for work. I had a post about it, a long, rambling thing which I deleted, accidentally. I was deleting several old drafts of posts I had started but never completed. I got delete happy I guess. That was just one of many stupid things I did this week.

I locked my keys in my car - three freaking times in three days. Okay, so it's not really that big of a deal because it's a Nissan and if you lock your key fob thingie inside, it unlocks itself and beeps at you, indicating that you're an idiot.

Funny thing about that feature, I've never trusted it. I'm paranoid about making sure I have my keys with me when I lock the doors, which I do by pressing the button on the door. That stupid honking sound annoys me when you use the key fob. This week, running on very little sleep, majorly stressed out by work, I couldn't seem to focus on anything, much less if I had my keys on me when I locked the door.

This morning on my way to my workout, I drove right past the gym. I was thinking about the crazy long list of things I have to do before I leave for Miami on Monday, then Dallas on Wednesday. I was about a mile past the gym when I suddenly thought, where am I going? Oh yeah, the gym, and had to turn around and drive back a mile.

Last night I worked until 9 p.m. - it was a Friday night. Who does that? I had to get my project status report sent out to God and everyone by last night. I got it sent, but it was 9 p.m.

When people tell me they're stressed out, I always tell them that life is just stressful and you just have to learn how to handle the stress. So why can't I follow my own advice? Exactly how is one to "handle stress"? I wish I could take back all the times I've given that stupid-assed advice.

This week has been horrible for eating too. I'm not eating junk, just eating too much of everything else. I've been unusually hungry.

I was at the hair salon today, paging through Elle magazine (where they think people would actually pay $1,600 for a pair of shoes), I came across an article about emotional eating and stress. It was surprisingly insightful for Elle magazine. It was written by April Long, their senior beauty and health editor. You know she's probably thin as a rail, but I won't hold that against her. It was a good article, and you can read it here, but the most important part for me was this:

The desire to eat between meals is wily and complex, and the human will is weak. But knowing that there’s no magic bullet (or pill) only strengthens my resolve. This is something that will require focus and time, and I’m prepared to begin with a few small steps. I’ll get more rest, try not to mentally pressure-cook the minutiae of my job, and even if it’s just for a couple days a week, I’ll convince myself that GG Bran Crispbreads are both satisfying and food-of- the-gods flavorful. The other days? You’ll see me striding purposefully down Seventh Avenue. And if I look like I’m running away from something, well, that’s because I am.

I couldn't have read better advice for myself today. That's exactly what I need to do, "I’ll get more rest, try not to mentally pressure-cook the minutiae of my job". It's a stupid job, that's all, nothing more. I need to stop letting it stress me out so much. Slow down. Pay attention to what I'm doing. I know it's why I'm eating too much, I'm even in a hurry to eat. I don't really think about it, I just eat. It's time to slow down, breathe deeply, and stop stressing about every little thing in my life. Life is stressful, we have to learn how to deal with. Failure not to do so is not an option. Plus who knows, the next time I lock my keys in my car, that sweet little feature of unlocking itself just may not work.