It was the worst of times

Okay, reality check, last weekend was the worst of times. It was just a crappy weekend for my marriage, with two major arguments with my husband. Add in a big disagreement with an old friend, and having a cat with cancer put down (he was diagnosed three days ago with a very aggressive form of cancer). It was just a big old crapfest of a weekend.

I took the day off from work today to regroup, try to get my head on straight. I really hate it when all areas of my life suck. Marriage, work, friends, pets. Gosh, what's left that can go wrong? Oh yeah, my eating. Lest I forget, it was a crappy eating weekend too. I didn't go crazy, but I ate about a cup of pecans Saturday night. I highly do not recommend this as a binge food. First of all, it's a very high calorie food that isn't that good (why? I could have had cookies!). Second, it made me feel kind of sick all night. Then Sunday night I ate two big bowls of Kashi cereal. I didn't even weigh this morning. I feel fat and that means I am fat.

Somehow, I stuck with the exercise both Saturday, Sunday and today. Even when I do everything else wrong, I manage to stick with my exercise. I'm going for a bike ride now, and the wind is howling and blowing. I suspect a rainstorm is going to happen any minute. Maybe my luck will change and I'll get struck by lightening and I won't have to worry about all this shit anymore. Okay, really, I'm just kidding about the lightening. I don't have any death wishes, at least not at the moment. Did you know if you tell your therapist you're suicidal they have to report you and you'll be committed? Just something to think about.