Hanging in there

After 16 months of doing this you would think I'd have it down pat by now. That I wouldn't have to give it a second thought, that my "lifestyle change" was firmly in place and nothing could make me falter. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Every day is a damn hard struggle for me. Some days slightly easier, but those are rare. Most days it's difficult. I think there might be something wrong in my head to make me have such a strong desire for food. Or more likely, it's my screwed up head and what one of my favorite bloggers, Sara, said in her recent post. I have the obesity disease, for which there is no cure. Luckily, each day is a do-over. That's just how I roll I guess, it's one big struggle for me.

I was pretty good yesterday, 19.5 Points until 9pm, then I ate two nectarines and some watermelon (okay, more than some, it was a ton of watermelon). I was down 2.2 pounds this morning, but still a ways to go just to get back to 155 (about 6 pounds).

This morning I was at the gym when the doors opened at 5am and got in 20 minutes elliptical, 25 minutes StairMaster (level 6 & 7 on the speed program -tough!), and one hour of strength where I really rocked it.

I love lifting weights! I love watching some guy doing 20-pound dumbbells like he's Mr. Macho Guy and then I walk over and pick them up like they're nothing. It was a really good workout.

I had some new tunes on my iPod so I was an extremely happy girl. And the sexy bald guy that has incredible muscles smiled at me and said good morning, that was kind of cool. We've been working out side by side for months and have never spoken. I'm not sure what was different this morning, but it made me feel good.

So on to another day, another struggle. My internal battle of me against food. I wish it was different, but it is what it is.