I blew it

I blew my 3-night binge-free streak. After a wonderful dinner of Asian Beef on skewers with Gremolata (I'll post the recipe later - it was fantastic), salad with Balsamic vinegar and olive oil dressing, and steamed Brussels sprouts (yes, I love them...I'm weird) at 5pm, I went crazy at 10pm.

I opened the freezer to have 1/2 cup sugar-free ice cream with strawberries leftover from dinner (not the fiber-filled snack I was suppose to have) and staring back at me were those evil Skinny Cow mint ice cream sandwiches. I ate all three that were left in the package. Since I figured I'd blown it anyway, I ate two Weight Watcher cookies and cream bars. I was still feeling hungry and had a bowl of Dan's Good Chili (Hungry Girl recipe but I add ground turkey and shredded broccoli to it), along with two Oroweat Sandwich Thins. I didn't calculate the Points.

I woke up with regrets, as I always do after a binge. It must be similar to how an alcoholic feels after falling off the wagon. The self-hate, the "why did I do that?!" the anger at myself. All negative, bad feelings.

My gym experience sucked big time today, as it always does if I eat too much the night before. I don't know if it's a physical thing, all that food in my system makes me sluggish, or if it's mental. Probably both. I managed 21 minutes on Sadie (StairMaster). I usually do 30, but I just couldn't do it today. 16 minutes on the Crossramp. 45 minutes upper body strength.

My morning got worse when the that guy that likes me came in and saw me on the elliptical and was all excited to see me. He said he'd been wondering what happened to me and he'd missed me. Great. I'd purposely been going really early at 5 a.m. to avoid him but today I was late and didn't get to the gym until 6:15am.

We had a six-minute conversation about spirituality and God and how to have a positive outlook on life. You can see that was a lost cause on me this morning.

I guess there's not much I can do but try again tonight to stop the binging. I have dinner out with two girlfriends at a sushi place so I won't be home until late. One of them is in Weight Watchers so I'm going with her to her meeting tonight before dinner. Maybe I can get some inspiration.

Onward and forward....

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Another picture of my Fairbanks trip (with my brother and his dog Goldie). I'm somewhat mortified by my hips and thighs, they look huge. If you want to see it close up and get totally grossed out, click on the picture to enlarge it. Aother reason to stop binging. I really need to lose the last 25 pounds! By the way, those jeans went to Goodwill this weekend.