Day 17: Faking it

Tonight I was going to write about hiking on Saturday (loved it!) or the Seahawks football game today (super loved it!). Who knew I'd love professional football, especially when my team wins 28-0. Woohoo! Of course, the Rams were having a really OFF day. At one point they had 12 men on the playing field, all actually playing! They lost 7 points for that and never recovered. A really fun game (pictures below).

However, instead of my fun weekend, I decided to write about what's really on my mind, even though it will make me look like a big, fat failure to many of you.

Friday and Saturday I made an attempt to be normal, of relaxing the rules a bit for myself. To me, being normal when it comes to food means being someone that eats when they're hungry, doesn't necessarily worry about what they're eating, but tries to eat healthy foods in modest portions. They don't weigh and measure their food. They don't log on to their computer and enter in every bite that enters their mouth into a food tracker. They don't feel like they're starving or deprived. They eat for sustenance, as well as for pleasure. They enjoy eating, but it's not their entire focus in life.

My conclusion after two days of trying to be normal with my food, which resulted in a four-pound gain, is that I will never be "normal" when it comes to food. I have food issues that I will never completely overcome, and I'll have to deal with them the best I can for the rest of my life. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm just stating a fact. Things could certainly be worse, and I could have been dealt a much worse fate in life.

I'm back to counting Points and tracking my food. I have eased up on the workouts a little. Five times a week at the gym for an hour a day. Hiking, biking or some other non-gym activity for one day, and a day of rest. The rest day was suppose to be today but after climbing a million stairs up and down at Qwest field, screaming my head off and jumping up and down at the game, I don't really feel like I had a day off.

I'm not beating myself up too much about this self-discovery. It's really not a new revelation, it's something I've always known about myself. I guess I was hoping maybe I had changed, and maybe normal was within the realm of possibility for me, but it's back to pretending to be normal. Or as MizFit says, "fake it 'til you make it!".

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The football game
OMG! I'm totally hooked! I've avoided professional football my entire life. I always thought it was a boy thing. My husband loves it, I hate, or rather, hated it. The game was so much fun. I screamed, yelled, jumped up and down, did the happy dance over and over, high-fived everyone around me, it was the best.

This is true about the noise, my ears are still ringing (and my throat is sore from yelling).

The loudest stadium is Qwest Field.Qwest Field has earned a reputation as one of the loudest stadiums in the NFL. Allen had the architects design the structure of the stadium, especially the partial roofs, to direct as much crowd noise as possible on the field. In addition, the north end zone seating, called the "Hawks Nest", was specifically designed for rowdy fans; the seating consists of metal bleachers which reflect sound, and fans often stomp to create even more. Seahawks fans already had a reputation for being among the most vociferous in the NFL; while they played in the Kingdome, opposing teams often practiced with rock music blaring at full blast to prepare for the often painfully high decibel levels typical of Seahawk games.

Seahawks vs. Rams 9/13/2009

Final Score: 28 - 0

GO HAWKS!