Day 5: I fell off the horse

After all my "look at me, I'm doing this!", I messed up last night. Actually, it was officially Wednesday morning at 12:30 a.m. (Day 5).

I woke up and was ravenous. My positive attitude suddenly disappeared. After a 20-Point binge (which I calculated this morning), which included Light Redi-Whip straight out of the can, I went back to bed. It was almost like it was a bad dream (more like a nightmare) .

To make matters worse, when I went to the gym this morning I decided after 20 minutes to use my "free pass". This is something I came up with when I started Weight Watchers eighteen months ago.

My free pass works like this: if I really do not want to go workout, for whatever reason, I have a deal with myself. Go to the gym and after five minutes on a piece of cardio equipment if I simply can't stand being there, I give myself permission to leave.

It's a mind game I play with myself (I sound slightly psycho). It really works. I'm just like anyone else and have days when the thought of forcing my body to move is unbearable.

I have never used my "free pass", even though many times on my way to the gym I said I was going to turn around and go home after five minutes. This morning I used my free pass. I lasted 20 minutes and just couldn't do another minute. Between last night's late workout and the binge, my body wasn't up to it.

But all is not lost! I made up for the workout tonight by leaving work early at 3 p.m. and headed to the gym. I did 45 minutes of hard cardio on Sadie and 40 minutes of strength. I also ate very carefully today, and I'm right at 24 Points. My heart rate monitor said I burned 496 calories.

It's okay. I'm not perfect. I mess up sometimes. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. The real test is if I recover gracefully. So, as gracefully as I can, I'm climbing back up on that horse and I'll keep going.