180.2

Argh! 180.2...really????

What can I say other than I'm a dismal failure at this weight loss stuff. Instead of losing weight this week, the first week of the new year, I gained 3.8 pounds! That's just the weigh in on my home scales, tomorrow at 7am is Weight Watchers. Since I'll actually have clothes on when I weigh in it'll be even more (unless I amputate an arm tonight and trust me, I'm tempted!).

I'm perfect every day, all day until about 11pm. Then it's like I lose my ever-lovin' mind! All sense of what's important to me disappears into thin air. I even hear myself saying that I just don't care damnit! I'm hungry! And then I proceed to stuff my fat little face with an abundance of healthy food.

A banana, broiled chicken, low-fat graham crackers and non-fat milk was my feast last night at 11pm. Not even fun food.

All the self-help books' advice, all the weight loss bloggers' advice, all my own knowledge of overeating and weight loss seems to just evaporate into thin air. I'm majorly frustrated with myself right now.

180.2. Yes, kind of hating myself right now.