It's all about the attitude

Yesterday I posted about my binging, how I obsess over it. I also mentioned how Velda's post put my problems in perspective.

What really stands out about Velda isn't the fact that her problem is worse than my problem, it's her attitude. Even though her prognosis is grim (4 to 6 months to live), she is still positive and upbeat about her life. She's fighting as hard as she can to live her life to the fullest. She has hope that just maybe she'll beat the odds.

It really is all about our attitude. None of the weight loss experts can help us if we have a bad attitude. If we constantly tell ourselves we're going to fail at losing weight and maintaining the loss, we'll be right.

That's exactly where I've been for the last few weeks. I was feeling like this was just impossible. My binging was getting the best of me.

When I got home last night I decided I wasn't going to obsess about my binging anymore. I had to let go of that thought process. If it happened, it wasn't going to be the end of the world. So I eat late at night, so what? It might mean I won't lose weight, but again, so what?

Last night I talked with my husband. I confessed my late night eating. He had no idea, which kind of surprised me. I told him it was a serious problem, and I didn't know how to fix it. Just sharing it with him was a relief. It's funny how I can tell complete strangers I'm a freak, but I struggle telling my own husband.

We didn't argue, he didn't say I was a bad person or crazy, and he wasn't judgmental. He was kind and understanding. He's never had a real weight issue himself, although he is currently 50 pounds overweight (and he hates it). He knows how hard I struggle, but I know he doesn't really get what I go through since he doesn't have food issues himself.

Afterwards I felt relaxed and not stressed out by the thoughts of binging. I really didn't care what happened. I couldn't keep fighting this thing tooth and nail, and then lose the battle every night. I decided it wouldn't be a battle. I'm not giving up, but I'm not going to war with myself night after night over whether or not I should eat.

I fell asleep early and slept through the night without waking up once during the night. It's been months since I've had a good night's sleep.

My attitude isn't super happy, with rainbows and butterflies, but I'm feeling kind of happy, hopeful. It's more of an attitude that I need to let some things go, things that aren't really that important. Things like binging.
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A shoutout to my dear friend Pamela who is back among the living. I've missed her so much. She was the first person to ever comment on my blog. She's followed me for almost two years and has helped me tremendously.

Now it's my turn to return the favor. Please stop by Pamela's blog and offer her support. She's a wonderful person and she needs help right now.