Fighting the good fight

Thanks for the great advice yesterday. I know I need to get back on track and sooner rather than later. Mary suggested picking just one thing to change, just one thing for one day. One day at a time. I know she's right, yet I didn't do it today.

In fact, I just made No-Pudge brownies (the ones made with yogurt). I'm sure they're no pudge if you eat just one, but I ate half the batch. I have no idea how many calories or Points. Honestly, I don't even want to know right now.

My decision to make the brownies was based on when I binge, I'm binging on things that don't really satisfy my cravings. My rather weak theory is once I've eaten something I wanted, brownies, then I'll feel like my craving has been satisfied.

The hole in my theory is that history has shown once I eat sugar, I want more and the craving becomes even more intense. I'm a sugar addict, just like a crack addict has to have crack, I have to have sugar once I get started.

However, I have a plan for tomorrow. My plan is to get back on plan and TRACK MY FOOD. I usually do online tracking, but lately I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. For a change, I'm going to write it in one of the paper tracker booklets the rest of the week.

The good thing about eating all those brownies is I feel really sick. Like if I never see another brownie for the rest of my life I'll be fine.

Update, the day after the brownies incident, 3/9 - 5:22 a.m.

I'm up and dressed for the gym, leaving in just a few minutes. Amazingly I don't feel any ill effects from the massive amount of sugar and white flour and chocolate I consumed last night (about six hours ago). I'm ready to go workout and actually feel somewhat engergized. Probably still on some kind of sugar high.

More amazing though is even after I weighed at 181.6 I'm not kicking myself in the head over last night's binge. I'm ready to fight this devil to my death. I will track today, stay within my Points, and drink water. I don't think I had any water yesterday. Funny how when one thing goes to hell for me it all goes to hell (I skipped the gym yesterday too).

Yesterday is past, it's history. Today is a new day and damn it, I'm going to do it today. Make it through just this one day doing the best I can!

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It snowed today. This is a picture taken through our office window. The snowflakes were huge, but they melted as soon as they hit the ground. It was pretty while it lasted.