The 'do' and the Ambien experience

The 'do'
I promise I'll post a picture of the new hair later. Although I'm not sure I like it. I have --- layers! I wondered what took her so long to cut it. Apparently she added layers under the pretense of "cleaning" up the ends.

I thought it looked good when she styled it yesterday. This morning I was very frustrated trying to flat iron many different lengths of hair. My normal five minute process took about twenty minutes.

It's funny, when I was fat if I got a haircut I didn't like, even a half inch shorter than I expected, I would cry. Seriously, I'd actually shed tears over my hair. It was like it was the only part of me that I had any control over. If I hated my hair, I felt 100% ugly because I already hated my body.

Even though I'm not loving this haircut right now, it doesn't bother me. I feel like, oh well, it'll grow back. No big deal. Anyone that knew me before would be completely shocked over this attitude about my hair. Perhaps it's because I don't totally hate my body these days. Even though it's not perfect, I'm loving it a lot more than I did at 240 pounds. :)

The Ambien experience

I've stopped taking Ambien, the prescription sleeping aid. It's dangerous! This morning I woke up and had red stuff all over my hands. It looked liked I'd murdered someone in my sleep.

My fingers were literally "beet red". OMG! I ate the roasted beet dip! I headed into the kitchen and found the container in the refrigerator, with only a couple tablespoons of dip remaining. There was about 3/4 cup in the container when I went to bed. This meant I'd eaten almost the entire 3/4 cup of dip. Considering three tablespoons was 4.5 Points, this isn't a good thing.

The even weirder thing, I didn't see any evidence of bread or crackers eaten with the dip. Plus, my fingers were a brillant red. Did I eat it with my fingers?!

I honestly have no memory of eating anything at all last night and have no idea what else I may have eaten. This is scary stuff. If I could do this, could I get in my car and drive somewhere? Or what if I go to bed mad at my husband? What if that had been blood? Kind of scared the hell out of me.

Since this is the second incident in a week where I have no memory, I've flushed the remaining five Ambien pills down the drain. It's too scary of what I'm capable of doing while under the influence. Eating food that I don't even remember enjoying is one thing, but what else am I capable of doing?

I'll have to learn how to sleep on my own. I actually fell asleep a couple times last week without it so I think I'll be okay. Speaking of sleep...that's where I'm going now.

Happy Tuesday!