How is it possible?

If you eat less calories than you expend you will lose weight.

Fact

I have gone up 0.5kg

Perplexed is not the word.

Now then, before you assume that maybe I thought I was eating under my calorie/expenditure level but I wasn't - sorry that is not true. Nor am I in some kind of starvation mode (which I don't believe can happen anyway) as I am not following a diet that is very low in calories.

So how, kind people, is it possible for me to eat less than 2000 calories per day for a whole week (actually slightly less in total than last week) and PUT ON WEIGHT???????????

To maintain my weight I must eat 21,200 cals per week
To lose 2 pounds a week I must eat 14,200 cals a week.
I actually ate 11,800 - an average of 1680 per day

Obviously to gain weight I would have to have more than DOUBLED my intake of food. Can you see why I KNOW that my gaining of 0.5kg is ridiculous.

I and not actually cross about gaining - I am miffed, flummoxed, perplexed, flabbergasted and stunned but not cross - because basically I know I MUST have lost weight, you know what I mean? It just doesn't add up that I haven't! I find this absolutely fascinating - I want to know what on earth is going on in here!!

I cannot begin to tell you how dedicated I have been to this cause - every single bit of food that has passed my lips I have recorded. I have fastidiously weighed and measured, checked packets, chosen things on purpose and been super careful to a fault for the whole fortnight. How can I lose 2.8kg last week and gain 0.5kg this week doing exactly the same thing?

Well you can't. You cannot put on weight by eating less. Its not possible. It goes against everything we know about diet and the physics of weightloss. If it were possible, then the opposite would be true and we would all have to eat 5000cals a day to lose weight.

I just MUST have lost weight, but the scale is wrong... or something else?

Funnily enough I have a slight thought it might be something to do with having the mumps. I was one of the lucky 5% of women who, when they have mumps, also get swollen ovaries. Now, this is no joke I can assure you.

33% of men who get the mumps get swollen testes and 5% of women get swollen ovaries & breast tissue

You can see who complain the most as we only ever hear about the blokes getting hot balls!!!

So yeah, I had swollen and very painful ovaries - like period pain on steroids direct from the devil - and one tit swelled up to near double its size. Now I am already a big girl in that department so this was totally rivaling Jordan. It was soooooo painful though.

After all my swellings had gone down - face, tit and ovaries - Things returned to normal. However I should have had a period about the time I got the mumps, but I didn't. My period came last Monday 4th October - 9 days late. It was normal in everything but length - 2 days.

I am regular like clockwork - if I am 1 day late, I am pregnant for sure. Also I got pregnant so darn easy we used to joke that we just had to share the same toothbrush and I was done! My only trouble was holding onto the slippery little blighters. So after losing 6 babies, being diagnosed with Lupus and antiphospholipid syndrome, I was told I could not have children. Ooops - cos I was pregnant. Mass backpedaling by my consultant and 7 months of horrible treatments, hospital stays and coma/pneumonia episodes, DS came into the world through the sun roof exit! Then I was sterilised.

So, sterilised - I have had a textbook period every 28 days, lasting 5 days and each month I know exactly which ovary is firing cos I feel the ache in that side.

To be 9 days late, and have a 2 day period is for me a deeply disturbing occurrence. I have booked holidays and even parties around my period before!!!! Even though the doc said it might disturb my cycle - I got a fleeting panic that my clips had failed and I was indeed with child. Its just too unusual for me to be irregular.

Right now, I have what I can only describe as period pain - 21 days after my last period was due, and 12 days after the weird one. Both ovaries ache though.

So, is this my body fucking me over or have I really gained 0.5kg??

On Wednesday evening DH said to have a sneaky try on the scales, I jumped on, fully dressed and loaded with the days food and drinks and I weighed 118.7kg. This would have been a loss of 0.5kg and I always weigh my heaviest in the evening!! I was looking forward to a nice result. WTF? Thursday morning, I hop on and get 119.3 - I shrug it off and carry on my day. So it was a great surprise to have 119.7 staring at me this morning. Not a nice one.

I have decided that there cannot possibly be any way on this earth that I have REALLY put on weight. Its simply not possible and must be something to with something else.

Onwards and upwards.

Just a weird thing... this is absolutely no lie... I just rang DH and told him, and he said last night as I drifted off to sleep I said "I hope I have lose weight this week" and he said he was sure I had and then I said "I am paranoid that I haven't as I feel fatter". I don't remember this. I also had a fleeting urge when I got up this morning to instantly drink 2 pints of water so that I couldn't weigh myself (I always weigh empty stomach) so maybe my body knows something I don't.

Keep on keeping on I guess. I am going to weigh in daily for a while and see what is going on.

14th 119.3
15th 119.7