Allan is right, this is REALLY hard

I'm participating in Allan's Phase 4 challenge, well, at least I'm trying to do it. It's not that easy. He says it gets better, I sure hope he's right.

I don't weigh 141 like he has me listed on his chart of participants. I wish! I started at 181 on Sunday. I hope he doesn't show me gaining 40 pounds at the end of week one.

The Good
My size 12 jeans that I wore on the plane on Saturday that were too tight and cutting into my flesh, fit much better today. They were fresh out of the dryer this morning, and they're actually comfortable.

My manager bought us all really cool company logo insulated water glasses with a straw. I love it! I can add ice and it doesn't sweat like my stainless steel Nathan water bottle. I've actually been drinking more than my required 90 ounces of water (today was 116 ounces of water, plus coffee and tea - a little on the high side).

The bad
Allan said Phase 4 would be hard in the beginning and he wasn't kidding. It's been an extremely difficult three days of trying my best to stay in the 1200-calorie range. To say I'm hungry is an understatement. I feel like I'm starving to death. I'm trying to follow his eating guidelines. Actually, they're similar to Weight Watchers but without all the "free" fruit.

I've been eating a bit more protein than his plan recommends, because, well, you know I work out soooo hard. I think I've been kidding myself about exactly how hard I'm really exercising. I thought the extra protein would help with the hunger but it's not working. I know, I'm breaking the rules and if this doesn't work for me it's totally my own fault.

The ugly
I'm feeling sort of weak and light headed, and I'm more forgetful than normal. Forgetting names of people that I've known for years, losing my cell phone (found it in my car), and other things that are starting drive me a little nuts.

I can't decide if this is all in my head and I'm imagining it or if it's because of the reduced calories. I know the upside of the hunger means I'm losing weight. The downside is that it's difficult to function when I feel like this.

My workout this morning was really terrible. Thirty minutes on the StairMaster and each step felt like torture. I only completed 103 floors. I normally complete at least 125 to 135 floors (my personal best was 144 floors in 30 minutes).

My strength workout wasn't much better. The barbell that I use for bicep curls and overhead shoulder presses is 45 pounds. I've been doing it for months but today that 45 pounds felt like 65 pounds. I completed all of my exercises and reps (three sets each) but it was a struggle. I really just wanted to go home, eat everything in sight, and crawl back into bed. Usually I don't even think about food when I'm at the gym in the morning.

My calories burned on my heart rate monitor for my hour workout was 380. Usually it's 500 - 600 calories. Not good.

A word about Weight Watchers
I've been whining about the zero Points fruits and vegetables, but really, for most people I don't think this is a problem. It's really just a problem for me. I don't seem to know when to stop. I guess I'm lacking in common sense when it comes to food. After all, I did gain 100 pounds. That says a lot about my self-control when it comes to food.

I'm still attending meetings, mainly for the accountability of the weigh ins and because I love my leader.

Link to my food diary
I'm tracking my food on a different blog page -- Food Diary, with calories AND Points for everything I'm eating. It's very boring reading but I'm really surprised how many calories I'm consuming. I'm pretty sure I was eating a lot more than 2000 calories a day because 1300 calories seems like starvation to me now. No wonder I've been gaining weight.

My conclusion about this whole thing
It really is lot harder than I thought to eat only 1200 calories a day. I really hate being this hungry. I know it'll be worth it if I can get this weight off. Thanks Allan for sharing your plan with us, I appreciate it, but oh my gosh, this is difficult!