January 2, 2011 - 181 pounds

Pictures from the ice park at North Pole, Alaska.

December 31, 2010

The vacation
I'm back from Fairbanks where I had a wonderful week with  my family. I'm blessed to have a really great family. We have a little dysfunctional stuff going on, just like any family, but we have a lot of fun together. I was actually crying on the plane after leaving them yesterday. I miss them already.

You can see from my title I didn't do so well with the weight loss this last week. I actually gained four pounds in the week I was in Fairbanks. Even though my sister normally eats really healthy, her children (my nieces and their families), well, not so much.

My nieces, sister and myself started off the week going to the gym Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. My 72-year old skinny (and beautiful) sister usually goes five days a week. On Thursday and Friday we just wanted to stay home, relax and visit, so that's exactly what we did.

For New Year's Day everyone decided on Papa Murphy's pizza (with extra cheese). I looked it up before I ate it, 28 Points for 1/8 of  a pizza (combination). I had two pieces. Then there was the coconut cream pie for dessert (which I didn't even bother to look up the Points) Seriously, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I haven't eaten food like this in oh, I don't know, three years! I wish I could say it made me sick and I felt awful afterwards. I didn't. I felt fine, with just a twinge of regret knowing I was going home the next day and facing the scale.

It wasn't just the one day of overindulgence. My sister makes the world's best homemade bread. It's whole wheat and healthy, but it's bread, and I'm sure it's high in Points. I can't resist it.

We also ate out a lot and even though I tried to order healthy food, eating out is not conducive to weight loss unless you really watch it. I didn't.

Check out this salad I had at Chili's that I looked up AFTER I ate it. I could have looked it up before since I had my phone and internet connection, but I made a conscious decision to look it up later, knowing it wouldn't be good.

Quesadilla Explosion Salad
Calories 1400
Fat grams 88
Sat. Fat 26
Carbs 88
Protein 65
Fiber 10
Sodium 2320

Can you believe those numbers? It should be illegal to serve something this high in fat and calories, not to mention the sodium.

On the plane ride home I felt miserable because my clothes were too tight. My bra was cutting into my back (back fat), my jeans were too snug around my waist (gut fat) and I was wearing my big size 12's. I was so thankful I got a First Class seat  (remember, I'm an airline employee...not rich). I can't imagine three hours squeezed into a middle seat in coach. I think I would have died. At least I was in a nice wide seat for my nice wide butt.

I'm a little disappointed in myself, but I had a great time last week. It really wasn't about the food, it was about spending time with the people I love. The food just happened to be there. I could have said no, and a few times I did eat healthy. Obviously though, I didn't make good choices most of the time.

I will give myself a little credit though. When I got home last night about 8pm, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home. My husband is in Denver visiting his family so it was just going to be me at home. I have issues with eating when I'm alone. It's when I do my worst eating, when no one is watching. I'm a closet eater of junk food. When I'm alone is the most dangerous time for me.

As I was walking through the store last night I had coconut cream pie on my mind. I kept telling myself no. I bought my staples, organic non-fat milk, organic eggs, my favorite whole-grain bread, chicken breasts, non-fat yogurt, lots of fresh fruit and fresh vegetables, and a lot of other things that I eat on a regular basis. All very healthy and on plan.

I kept thinking about the bakery and walked past it a few times, but I never actually looked at any of the baked goods. They have a large cooler full of pies. I knew there would be a coconut cream pie in the cooler. I knew I could buy one, take it home and eat the whole thing. I knew no one would ever know. Somehow I managed to get out of the store with only my healthy food. I consider this a major accomplishment.

Now what?
Now it's time to get down to business. I don't have the I'm-on-vacation excuse. I have great hopes that I can get this thing under control. Today the gym is on my schedule, along with tracking my food and drinking tons of water. Tomorrow it's Weight Watchers and an official weigh in.

I go back to work on Tuesday, and back to my regular routine. For some unexplicable reason, I'm feeling positive and hopeful. I know I can and will do this (again).