Doomsday *updated*

I am forcing myself to go and get weighed today. I know its going to be horrible, but I have to do it or the wondering will make me eat... I know that's crazy, but it always does. I always get on that whole "Oh I am so terrible" bandwagon and then end up eating all the pies because I 'think' I have put on weight so I might as well continue. Its a stupid idiotic way to look at things, but I cant change it. It really is mental.

So I am going to face the damage and just go with it and sort it out this week.

*update*
Ok, it was not good, but it could of been much much worse. I also have the painters in again, so that always gives me a couple of extra pounds to lug around.

It was a 3 and a half pound gain this week.

I am right back on it though... and to be honest, I wonder what I would be now had I not been doing the diet for the last 2 weeks... it keeps me on the straight and narrow. I would have been way off course had I not been.

So today's food was
scrambled egg and baked beans for brekkie
beetroot for lunch
sweet potato and lentil curry and rice for dinner.

I am tending to go for *wet* foods. I don't know why, but it seems that because this means I get to actually eat without worrying about puking, I take the safe option. I don't have too much trouble eating normal foods, but I just hate that feeling so much that I choose the soft option.

Changing the subject...
I am rolling with a whole new concept for DS's education. I am finding that scheduled and timed lessons are not doing it for us as a family. DS, as he gets older, is seeming to want to look elsewhere for information about his interests and they don't come from textbooks. They are very much hands on and what is happening is that he spends his day doing Maths, English, spellings and handwriting and science etc and then by the time he has finished that, what he really wanted to do that day is impossible because of time constraints. This, to me, smacks of school all over again. This was the problem I had with school in the first place. Kids don't have enough time to follow their dreams and desires and interests to the full.

Think of the things that you do well, that you like to do, that you're good at. (Things from your vocation, or hobbies, or -- anything).

How many of them did you learn in school?
How many of them were forced on you?

How many did you acquire by your own interest and curiosity?
How many of them did you work hard at because you had interest?

If your initial answers aren't glaringly obvious, ask these same questions of your spouse, your neighbours, your friends, your family.

I know that when I answer these questions I find it pretty darn amazing.

*I play the piano (learnt privately because I wanted to) .
*I teach piano - because I love kids, I taught myself how to do it... I didn't do a course in it. One day I needed a job and thought.. "Hey! I can teach piano!" and put an ad in a corner shop. that was 13 years ago.
*I do my own UV Gel nails - I begrudged the £30 a fortnight and 2 hours in a salon, so I thought "stuff that" and learnt to do it on my todd and now I do other friends too... who pay me to boot!! HA HA
*I make my own clothes, curtains, table cloths etc. I learnt from my Mum on her old 'Singer' making clothes for my dolls and teds (and for some reason endless amount of slippers). None of them fitted right ever. I progressed to bags and long skirts... following patterns etc and now I can do whatever you want me to do. I even made a fully working multi layered Roman blind which would have cost about £500 had I had to buy it!
*I learnt to type. All by myself
*I learnt to drive
*I learnt to cook from the age of about 2. I cooked a full 3 course meal for my mum and dad at 9. I cant believe I never let DS even have a go at that yet!! Who cares if its burnt really.
*I learnt to keep a house
*I learnt to navigate road maps
*I built a swimming pool for Goodness sake!

I even learned how to fill in the self assessment tax form. Tax doesn't have to be taxing... but it IS! What a joke. If I can do that without learning it at school...

There are seriously hundreds of things that I can do that I never learnt in school. They never even teach it in school. Knitting, crochet, darning, sewing, proper cooking (not some yucky half baked crumble or manky lasagna), wallpapering, painting, putting up a fence, training a dog, washing clothes so that they come out right afterwards, running a house and shopping, first aid, balancing a cheque book, using a computer, bringing up an baby, being a wife.

I am going to follow this philosophy with DS for a while. He can read well, add up and take away well, knows loads of stuff... why do I need to cram his brain full of useless muck which he will never use... or if he does, can find out easily for himself with the website google?

For one thing, the timetables and crap are NOT working... all I do is get stressed because he daydreams all day long whilst holding a pen and I am like some horrible warden jailer "BOY!!!! DO YOUR WORK!!!" at which he rapidly scrambles to it until I turn my back. That's not how its supposed to be. That's horrible.

I am my sons worst nightmare.

DS loves animals. He loves cooking. He loves outdoor stuff. We never get to do this because he is doing other stuff which he hates.

So stuff it. We are gonna do stuff he likes and see what happens.

So begins our phase of autonomous child led education.

*GULP*