My mood is almost black as the Seattle skies today

Some people will say there she goes again, the drama queen in action. Honestly, I don't want to be like this. I'd give anything to be a normal, even-keeled person, without the highs and lows that are my life. Sometimes I envy the Lexapro induced happiness of my friends. Even though I know it's an artificial state of being, I'm somewhat jealous. I'm just not sure it's worth giving up days like yesterday, when everything was great.

So what happened to my "I'm so happy to be alive" feeling I had yesterday?

1. Yesterday afternoon I exchanged some unpleasant emails with a former friend. It left me with a very bad feeling.


2. I had an argument with my husband almost the minute I walked in the door last night.


3. Dinner wasn't done until 8:30pm (because of #2).


4. I went to bed alone at 9 p.m, angry, hurt and feeling sorry for myself.


5. I drank two glasses of wine last night and went over my Points, again.


6. Woke up late for my workout, and was in a really foul mood.


7. I had a lousy workout this morning, struggled to stay at it for an hour. Everything hurt.


8. The weather sucks again today, cold, dark clouds, and windy.


9. I have my counseling session today, and I'm dreading it. It drains me.


10. I can't figure out how to make Microsoft Project do what I want it to do and my go to person is out for the week. Piece of crap software.


11. I went to Trader Joe's at lunch to buy candy. Yes, I said it, CANDY! I bought fresh strawberries, Fage Greek 0% yogurt and frozen mango instead. I know this should be a good thing but the fact I even thought about buying junk bothers me. I didn't do it but scary just the same.

So that's it, nothing earth shattering happened. Just a serious of unpleasantness. I want that feeling back that I had yesterday, when life was good. I just don't know how to get there.