Back on the wagon

Well, it's day 4 into my new slimmingworld regime.

When I got weighed on Monday it was horrible. The dreaded black monster said 17 stone 8.5 lbs.
That is practically back where I was in November 2007 when I had my band fixed. I was 17 stone 12 when I had it fixed, and I honestly thought I would never see the 17 stone zone again. Its pretty horrifying. I touched the horrifying zone just before I went to the Czech republic and weighed in a slimmingworld at 17 stone 0.5lbs so, just over the border, but to have the next weigh in put me firmly in that zone... GULP! its horrible. So, when you think that I was good for majority of the week I got home, who knows what the damage truly was!! I think it was likely to be about 11 pounds that I put on, and if I had gone to slimmingworld the day I came home I would have been proper horrified. So at least having a pretty good girl week when I came home got it back to about 8 pounds gain.

So this week I have been great. Before I went to the Czech rep, I organised a pamper evening for all my mates, and that was yesterday. Because I knew it was coming up I did several mature things. I decided to just drink water all day, but had my dinner in the evening just before the guests turned up so that I wouldn't be able to stuff too much down my throat. If I am full, I am not inclined to want to keep nibbling. I only also only bought snacks for the party that would be hard for me to eat - cocktail sausages and snack eggs, dorrito's and dip. This meant that I only had a couple of everything rather than chomping my way through a pile of crap on top of my dinner. Because I hadn't eaten all day, although not hungry, it meant that I 'saved' some calories to use up in the evening, so in my mind - even thought the things I did eat were not good - at least I didn't eat this stuff on top of my whole days food.

Then, something I am very proud of, I said goodbye to the last guests at about 1:30am and then cleaned up! I was so tired, and a little tipsy and just wanted my bed, but instead I got a big black bin liner and THREW away all the crisps left in packets, the dips, the half eaten box of chocolates and the last of the snack eggs and a few other bits people brought and poured half a bottle of plonk down the sink! I wiped up and put the dishwasher on and tidied the house and then went to bed at about 2:30am. This morning when I got up, hungry and wanting a nibble... I didn't have any of that stuff lying about saying "eat me". I was really pleased with myself for doing that.

Today I am back on Slimmingworld's plan as was my intention, and I have had a massive green salad with Tuna and mayo - the extra light variety. Its not very nice but makes it easier to eat so that I can enjoy it rather than just endure it. 100g of extra light mayo is only 3 Syns. That is a lot of mayonnaise and I only need 80g to make a whole tin of tuna mayo for me and DS, so even better. I also found a nice honey and mustard salad dressing that only has 8 Syns in the whole bottle, and don't know about you other bandsters, but having a sauce that's NOT loaded with calories and makes stuff a bit more easy to eat is a bonus. I must admit that I tended to stick to easy eat foods like curry and casserole, but we also have to eat regular stuff, so a bit of sauce of some kind helps a lot with this. The trouble is that the sauce is normally worse for you than the food! Sauce ideas always welcome people!!

I would rather have a little sauce or gravy with my meals and eat them that be permanently over the sink heaving my guts up and then feeling rubbish and eating chocolates... so I guess for me its what works.

I am really in a good place with my eating right now. I am completely nonplussed with the band at the moment - having no particular likes/dislikes with it, but I think doing slimmingworld is easier having it in because you have no cravings or hunger pangs. so maybe that is its saving grace. At the moment if asked whether I would do it again, I would have to say no, because for me its been a huge annoyance and mind-messer. I do wish I had had the guts to go with the bypass and throw in the extra couple of grand.

However, who knows how I will feel about the band in a month of two... A couple of moths back I was ready to do my own band self-removal...

We shall see. I am happy with slimmingworld right now and hopefully the band will just aid that. At least it makes me chew well and avoid bread/doughnuts/muffins etc.

I am very annoyed with myself for letting things get out of control and not sticking to a plan of some kind. Its down to me at the end of the day.