Struggles

There's a theme in weight loss blogland: the harder we struggle, the more difficult our weight loss journey becomes, and the more we fail, the less we post. I'm just as guilty as anyone on this. Lately it's seems harder than normal for me to be in control. I don't know why and even if I did, it wouldn't really matter, it would still be hard.

One of most favorite bloggers, Pamela, disappeared on me for over a week. I read her blog every day so I really missed her. I was thrilled to see she posted last night. Go Pamela!

Now for me, I need to buck up and post every day too, and confess my struggles. Last night was tough for me. I went to bed hungry, starving hungry. I was out of Points for the day but since I weighed in at 158 that morning, and I want to get back to 155 as soon as possible, I refused to eat anything else. I finally fell into a fitful sleep around midnight, tossing and turning.

At 3 a.m. I woke up wide awake and famished. I couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and ate 1/2 of a mini watermelon (2 Points), and a mini bag of Healthy Pop (1 Point). I went back to sleep and got up late for my workout at 6:30 a.m. I only worked out an hour, versus my normal 1 1/2 hours.

So what the heck was that all about? Who gets up at 3 a.m. to eat? That's just wrong on so many levels. I know how to avoid it, and that's to go back to taking sleeping pills (or eat myself into a stupor before bedtime but that's NOT an option). Just over the counter Simply Sleep, but I still don't like taking anything that isn't really necessary. I'll see how it goes tonight. Right now I'm so tired I feel like I could sleep for a week.

If you're reading this and you're a blogger that's really struggling with losing weight, don't stop posting. It's just about the worst thing you can do. I really thing blogging has been a lifesaver for me this time. It keeps me honest if nothing else. Plus reading other people's blogs makes me realize I'm not alone in this. We all are struggling. For some reason, that's comforting to me, to know other people have the same problem I have. I don't always comment on other people's blogs because of time, but I read a lot of them. They are a true blessing.

Biometric Screening
On a brighter note, yesterday I went to the health fair at work, where they did a biometric screening. I hadn't fasted, so no LDL or Triglycerides results, but those numbers are always good for me. It's my blood pressure that I was worried about. I haven't been testing it at home since I stopped taking the medication a few months ago.

Yesterday:
June 10, 2009 - weight 157.8
Glucose 90
Total cholesterol 148
HDL 46
Blood pressure 120/71 <--- not on meds!
Resting heart rate 57

These are my numbers from when I started Weight Watchers. I'd just had a physical which made me realize I was going to die if I didn't do something about my weight.
February 2008 - weight 243
Glucose 97
Total cholesterol 172
HDL 32
LDL 107
Triglycerides 82
Blood pressure 184/110

I was basically a dead woman walking when I weighed 243 in 2008. My blood pressure was this high for at least a week, until I called my doctor and she had me in her office within an hour. She immediately put me on blood pressure medicine (Triamterene). I've been off of it for three months and my blood pressure is great. That thrilled me more than anything. HDL still needs work, but at least it's going in the right direction. It should be over 60.

It still amazes me what losing weight and exercising has done for my health. If everyone did this we might be able to put some of the pharmaceutical companies out of business.