Oops

Oops. I'm not talking about an object-oriented programming system. I'm talking about acknowledging a minor mistake.

Yes, I had an "oops" last night. It involved cheese. An almond butter and jam sandwich. Cold cereal with milk.

The cheese is the same cheese from New Year's Eve that I had requested my husband hide from me. He hid it in the bottom drawer of the fridge in the garage. It was out of sight and out of mind and it didn't haunt me...until yesterday.

Yesterday my cruel and evil loving husband had a plate of cheese and crackers for a snack. He even asked me if I'd like some too, and went on to tell me how great the Dubliner Irish cheese from Costco tasted. I know this is unintentional cruelty. He knows I like cheese. What he doesn't know is that I LOVE cheese. That I could eat an entire block of the Dubliner Irish cheese if he wasn't looking.

I had been perfect on my eating all day. I had a nice dinner and thought I was fine. We went to bed. I couldn't sleep. At midnight I got up and read for a while. I had a healthy snack of fruit and yogurt. 

Then I started thinking about the cheese. I couldn't seem to use any of my newly learned skills to turn off the thought process. It was like I was possessed.

After the cheese I had an almond butter and Huckleberry jam sandwich on two slices of Dave's Killer Bread.

After the sandwich I had two large bowls of Kashi Honey Toasted Oat cereal with ice cold milk.

Next was remorse, sadness, sleep.

This morning I'm better. It was merely a blip on my radar, a minor mistake.

I woke up late and had a healthy breakfast. We're going to the gym in the next hour where I will literally try to work my ass off (lower body workout today).

Normally I would hate myself right now, feel defeated and hopeless. Although I'm not thrilled with my behavior last night, I'm not surprised by it either. I can't expect to change a lifetime of bad habits in one week. That would be a ridiculous thinking. However, it's one slip in eight days. Not bad.

There will be more slips in my life. I'm not perfect. I'm human and flawed. Normal people have "oops" moments, but they recover and move on. I'm moving on.