Day 166: WTHeck is going on?

I LOVE donating blood.  I've been doing it for years and try to do it whenever I can.  I'm nearly to the two gallon mark--maybe I've passed it already? I need to remember to check so I can get my license plate holder saying, "I'm a 2 gallon donor."  Call me a weirdo, but I like having that on my car.

Needless to say, I've never had an issue when donating.  Actually, I take that back.  When I was in college, I had an incomplete donation.  Turns out, if it's hot and you are a little low on water before going in, your blood can be too thick and stop flowing...right in the middle of a donation.  Yeah, that happened once, but I've never been turned away...until today.

I sat down behind the private curtains with the lady and she checked all my vitals.  Blood pressure, heart rate, temperature, all normal, and then she pricked my finger.  Normally, the tech has to squeeze hard to get a big enough drop to fill up the glass vile.  Not this time.  I noticed she was sucking it up as the blood drop slid down my finger. That caught my attention, but I didn't think it was a big deal.

"Do you usually have a problem with this?" she asked, as the little ball of blood didn't sink in the blue liquid.

"Not usually, but it usually hovers for a sec until in falls to the bottom.  Why?"

She walked over to a machine that was out of my sight, I heard it whirl behind me as I waited.  Soon, it beeped and the tech came back and told me I couldn't donate today but that I could come back in three weeks and try again.

This has never happened to me before and I'm a little frustrated with my body right now as it's freaking out on me.  I have noticed that I've been extra tired lately, I just thought it was the heat and my hubby's snoring.  Guess it was something more.  I've also been a bit more stiff and sore than usual too, I need to research Fibromyalgia more thoroughly.  I'm SO grateful I have the habit of working out every day or who know how I'd be feeling like right now.

Now more than ever, I really need to be stepping it up.  I need to be more balanced in my eating and adding more to my exercise regimen.  It's a reminder to never get complacent.  Health is ongoing and how we take care of our body needs to adjust as our needs do.  It's my journey and I now have an unexpected detour. No worries though, it's all a lesson on adjusting to the unexpected.

Day 160: Why is just as important as what.

Photo Credit

As I laid in bed this morning thinking about my current state of health and how frustrated I was, a thought occurred to me.  The same thing that is happening now, happened in my early twenties, nearly twenty years ago. (Yes, I just leaked my age, oh well...I tend to be an open book) Yep, at one point, I gained 40 pounds in 6 months during a time I was the most active in my life.  Noticing the similarities, I continued to analyse the timeline of my life.

I was a teen in the 90's.  I remember the HUGE craze then was a low-fat, high-carb diet.  I was in high school and I was very rigid with my eating.  I was also a size 6 who felt like I was a size 26. (If I could go back in time and kick myself, I would.) I remember eating very little fat, if any, and a whole bunch of carbs and Diet Pepsi. I remember my cycle was messed up and the Dr. gave me medication to fix it.  So during a time where my endocrine system and metabolism was developing, I was doing everything to work against it.

A body needs good fats to help build and strengthen every system needed to be alive and healthy.  I gave my body none, or at least I didn't give it the healthy kind when I had treats or a snack.  I also flooded my body with chemicals from soda and medicine.  What's sad is if I had been eating a balanced and healthy diet, I wouldn't have needed the medication to begin with. No wonder my body rebelled when I was 20, my endocrine system and metabolism were toast.  I had abused it without even knowing and it was ticked.

Now, twenty years later, I'm still dealing with the damage I incurred while I was developing in my youth.  I'm grateful that now I know better health habits so I can teach my children not just to eat better but why they would want to eat better.  I personally think the why is just as important as the what. You need to know what to put in your body so you can be healthy, but if you don't understand or know why, it's easy to make excuses.

I'm tired. * I don't feel good. *  Just this time. * It's a special day. * Tomorrow I'll do better. * Monday.

For me, when I know the why, the why will squash the excuses and reveal how lame and flimsy they really are, giving me a better chance of winning.

2/365 - Surprised!

I'm amazed at how quickly my body got out of shape. I swear I just worked out a few weeks ago and I didn't notice anything different from the norm. Last night when I hopped onto the elliptical I did a shorter and lower resistance workout than I'm used to. The workout didn't feel bad, but I could tell it didn't feel as easy either.

By the time I finished 15 minutes, I was sweaty and breathing heavy--certainly not how I used to feel walking off the machine.  I admit, I was a bit surprised. (I mentioned I lightened the workout since it has been a bit since I last did it, right?)

Although I was surprised walking off the machine, you can imagine my shock when I started to feel sore a few hours later. Seriously? I cannot believe I got out of shape as quickly or as badly as I did.  I'm relearning that taking care of your health is a daily thing, not just when you "have a goal" or when it's convenient.

Lifestyle-related Chronic Diseases

"Of the one trillion dollars America spends annually on health care, the CDC estimates that 70% of that is spent on lifestyle-related chronic diseases, such as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.  A surprising number of people accept all this as a normal part of life, believing that some of us are just fortunate to have "good genes" and the rest must cross their fingers against bad luck...The story is sad, but the good news is that your destiny for the most part is in your hands."  -  Mark Sisson

While working on my degree, I read this over and over, and it's true!  Most of the health issues we see today, are related to our lifestyles.  If we can change our lifestyles, these diseases won't be so prevalent.  According to the above statistic, Americans are digging their graves one spoonful at a time.  Are you?

Day 6 - Quote

WORKOUT

Elliptical Trainer: 30 minutes @ level 10

100 Push-up workout: Week 1 Day 3 ( push-ups)

"Perfection is impossible.  However, striving for perfection is not.  Do the best you can under the conditions that exist.  That is what counts."  
--John Wooden

I am a perfectionist, and my perfectionism has always messed me up in my past weight loss efforts.  "I messed up today/week/month, so I may as well splurge until the end of the day and start over tomorrow/next week/month."  


The journey is successful when we show understanding and forgiveness to ourselves along the way. 

Life is ALL about choices!

It certainly is, isn't it?  Should I workout today or wait until tomorrow?  Should I eat this apple or dive into that cookie?  Should I make good choices or bad choices?  Am I going to start today and do what I need to do to feel good or should I wait until tomorrow or Monday?  Life is about choices, always has been, always will be.

I have always been a black and white person, all or nothing.  Mediocracy and the grey area have never been in my nature.  Although in some areas this might be good, I am finding that it doesn't apply to everything.

In efforts to loose the last bit of weight and to create a lifestyle the invites health, I have learned that it can't be taken with an all or nothing attitude.  While an "all" attitude gets your workouts in and has you eating healthy and doing healthy behaviors, a person can burn out and can find themselves in the "nothing" attitude.  This attitude will undo all the good you did when you were doing the "all."  It creates a yo-yo of your life.  I spent well over a decade with this type of outlook.  I gained a lot more then I ever lost with this outlook as well.  All or nothing hasn't worked at all for me in my weight loss journey.

What I have found that has caused success isn't mediocracy either.  I never thought that I was living in the "gray area" either, I have realized that I HAVE been.  I have been doing well with the exercise and for the most part I have been eating well, but I need to do better.  Being in the grey area of things leaves you wanting to do better.  So in pondering recently, the thought of choices has become apparent.  You can be having a challenging day and you just want to do nothing at the end of it.  But here lies a choice.  Do you continue doing nothing being engulfed by the challenge of the day, or do you make a choice to do something else, something that gets you closer to your life's goals?  For instance, at the end of a day where the kids have been challenging, the house is a mess and I just want to do nothing, I have a choice.  Do I just sit on the couch and watch TV or get lost in a book and "relax" or do I do something that has me going to bed one step closer to my desired lifestyle?  I have the choice to workout and know I did something to get me closer to the goal of the lifestyle I want to create.  Nevermind that I didn't eat as well as I would have liked, or that I didn't fold the laundry or get some computer work done, I made the choice and worked out.  In that moment of decision, I decided to make a choice that brought me closer, not farther from my goals.

In life so often we are a victim of circumstance.  We just go through life and blame the things around us for not being or doing the things we want.  "I am too busy to focus on myself."  "If only I had more time." "If I had more money, time, health, space, happiness..." You fill in the blank.  This is easy to do and to get caught up in.  In life, I have learned, that you need to make the decision and then to make the choices that follow that decision.  It's our human nature to also sabotage ourselves.  We get used to a certain thing a certain schedule and we sabotage ourselves out of fear of what we could have. If you want something for yourself, you need to fight for it.  If you don't, you'll probably never achieve it.  In my life, if I want to have the lifestyle in which I dream of, it's not going to be handed to me and it's certainly not going to be easy or I would be living it right now.  I am going to have to fight for it.  I will have to make choices that bring me closer and avoid the ones that bring be farther.  We aren't stagnant in our lives.  We are either moving towards our goal or away from it, and it's always by choice.  If we are in a place we don't want to be, it's because we have chosen to be there through the choices we have made.

With this in mind, I find myself making better chioces.  By knowing that in every choice I am either getting closer or farther from my goal I must remember the decision I have made.  The decision to make choices that will bring me closer to my lifestyle goal.  Since I have made this decision to get closer to my goal, the choices will eventually get easier simply by the practice of doing so.  If I find a choice that is challenging, I will have to fight to achieve my goal.  The achievement of goals in life is not given, or stumbled across by accident, they are fought for.

Day 365 - I DID IT!!

WOW!! A whole year has passed since I started this crazy goal! I honestly can't believe how quickly time passes in a year. When I was a child, a year seemed like a decade, now a year seems like what a month used to be.

Anyway, it's a bittersweet day! I was a little bummed because I have pretty much maintained my weight the last 6 months. Am I complaining, NO WAY! But I don't have an "after" photo to share today. I think I may have lost focus. The goal at the beginning of the year was to workout 365 days in a row. That was it. I made no mention to weight because weight wasn't the focus. Had I hoped it would effect my weight in a positive manner, sure. But it wasn't the focus and I knew it couldn't be because when you focus on something that naturally fluctuates, you can loose sight of the goal.

Tonight, after I finished my workout I walked out to a bunch of cheering when I walked into the living room. My hubby reminded me of the success that I achieved, success which I may have missed if it weren't for my family to remind me. Dang! I worked out 365 days in a row, rain or shine, traveling or home bound, sick or healthy!! That IS an accomplishment even if I am not feeling it right now.

2010 is the beginning of a new decade and this is going to be the year that I continue with what I started. I plan on continuing my daily workouts, minus Sundays. So I really can't make another 365 days in a row goal or a 730 day goal either. But I can say that I learned a lot this year. The biggest thing is that if I can workout daily and watch my portions, I can have a weight that I am happy with. Simple.

I am going to continue to blog my progress. I have more things to learn and share because as the title of this blog states, it's my weight loss journey, and I am not to my goal weight yet. Being at the upper end of a healthy BMI is like playing with fire. I want to be in a healthy range that is strong.

Happy New Year!! May 2010 bring many blessings to all!

Day 350 - A Journey With No Ending (A Personal Discovery)

FINALLY, my 3 week virus has finally died a permanent death! I have learned a lot during this time that I wanted to share.

1. My body and appetite are directly effected by my exercise program. While I was sick, I lightened my workout and ate often. During this time of year, eating often isn't a good thing. I haven't binged, but if you take a bite of all the yummy things you are given or make, it tends to add up. With these two things happening, I noticed the scale starting to creep! I am grateful that my mentality now is that if the scale starts to creep, I get back into my good habits and it creeps back down. Before, I would just say, "Whatever", continue eating and doing what I was doing that brought on the extra weight and just not look at the scale for a time since I knew it was going up. Needless to say, if I don't workout, I will not be able to maintain and I will most certainly gain weight. Maintenance is NOT an option if I am not working out.

2. Even though I have worked out every day in 2009, lost 40 pounds and gained a body I can be happy about, I have found naughty eating patterns slipping back! When I realized this I was thinking, "What the heck? Have I learned nothing??" It became apparent to me that this journey doesn't have an ending, it's a journey for life. I can be thin and doing the things that bring health, but inside me, there is always that part that if left unchecked, will cause weight gain and will enjoy unhealthy behaviors. Which leads me to #3.

3. I ALWAYS NEED TO BE ON MY GUARD!! If not, bad behaviors will creep back when illness or stress are experienced. This realization is what brought me to the computer tonight. When I first started this journey and decided to make better food choices so I could loose weight, I was in the mindset to make good choices, to do the things needed to loose weight. To find the tricks and substitutes needed to bypass those things that would prevent me from being unsuccessful. As months went by, and these new behaviors became routine, I didn't have to think so much about it. They were positive habits, things that were coming naturally and that would give me the results I liked. I entered the holiday season with a plan, but the mindset wasn't there. I got cocky and didn't really think so much about the decisions that needed to be made to continue weight loss. I find myself today, with a plateful of Christmas cookies. I didn't down a bunch like I normally would have, but I did use a knife and take a taste of each of them. Those little bites add up! I didn't use the technique I used to use when I would stop, take a moment and think about what it would taste like and realize that I didn't really want it after all. That is a necessary thing to do this time of year because there is just TOO much good stuff. You CAN'T take little bites because when you have 12 things you take a bite of, it's like eating a few! Any other time of year, a bite or two of something would be fine, but this is the season where there is just too much.

So I end this post with a reminder to myself, never let your guard down, never search for that light at the end of the tunnel, and NEVER, NEVER, EVER take your foot off the elliptical for more than 24 hours.

Day 336 - A Little Kettlebell

Since I accept the fact that I will unlikely loose 8 pounds this month, that doesn't mean I don't have a plan. A dear friend of mine got some wonderful results from adding Kettlebell to her workout. I am going to add it to mine and try to firm up a bit this month. There are a ton of videos online that show kettlebell exercises. No matter what, you build muscle when you use them!

Today I have had some fierce cravings for some sweets. I had sweets over Thanksgiving weekend, and with leftovers, a few now and then the last few days. I have learned that it takes a few days to get it out of your system. Sugar is really an addictive substance because you crave it when you don't have it. Luckily, it's not hard to kick if you are at home, have no plans to leave and there aren't any sweets in the house. By tomorrow the cravings will subside, or at least lesson.

I now look at sugar and know that I will have to battle the cravings later. Understanding how sugar effects your body gives you information to use to your advantage later. So much better than wondering why I have such cravings. I used to hate to have such strong cravings I couldn't really control. I felt out of control and I would eat so much because of it. Now, understanding what sugar does, I can control IT much better. I can stay in control and keep my weight where I want it.

Day 335 - You CAN have your cake and eat it too...

...only have a few bites!  Seriously!  There is no reason to ever deprive yourself of the things you enjoy to eat.  The quantity, yes!  You can't fill yourself with your favorite foods AND be healthy.  PERIOD. It's not going to happen.  Either you want to do the things to bring health. Or you don't.  If you are not able to control the amounts of food you consume, you are accepting your current state of health.  You have agreed to stay there too.

With our bodies and the desire for weight loss, our mind is more powerful than we give it credit.  It plays tricks on us.  We play tricks on it.  We try to fool ourselves and say that "tomorrow I will do better."  If you say this, you are basically saying that right now isn't a good time.  That you are not worth the time or the effort.  Waiting until tomorrow is procrastination.  Think about it.  If you REALLY want to do something about your health, if that desire is true, then right now is the time to make the change.  Anything other than "right now" means you aren't serious with taking care of yourself.  So the next question would be, why?  Why are you not worth the effort right now?  I have found myself saying these same questions to myself.  Some days, I don't want to hear it.  Other days, I ponder, try to figure it out, and usually, I have the ability to do better "now."

Over the last few days, getting back into my typical workout and making better food choices, I lost that extra weight I found during Thanksgiving. :o) I am starting to believe myself that it really isn't that hard to maintain if you only listen to yourself.  Stop ignoring the inner voice that wants to make good choices.  I had such a hard time before because I didn't want to hear myself.  I would give myself excuses why now isn't the right time to do better and how tomorrow would be.  There is so much psychology in weight loss and health maintenance.  I honestly believe that if we are honest with ourselves, we can overcome many of the obstacles that we have put there.  But if we aren't honest with ourselves, we are working against ourselves, and that doesn't work when trying to achieve a better lifestyle.

One of the biggest hangups I had when I was going through my life in a binge state, was looking at foods as being "bad" and "good."  When having a bad day, how easy is it to justify eating the "bad" foods?  You had a bad day, you deserve to relax and have some of the food that makes you feel good.  Honestly, if you have had a bad day, eating a bunch of carrots and brocolli isn't going to cut it.  But if there isn't such a thing as "bad" and "good" in foods, how much more free you are when a bad day comes around!  That alone will help free up brain space to deal with the day itself.  No guilt because you jammed a half a dozen of the nearest cookie down your throat.  If a cookie makes you happy and feel better, enjoy your cookie!  1 cookie won't make you gain weight, 1 cookie won't keep you from loosing weight either.  It's the ones you eat after that one that cause the trouble.  Sometimes, when I have had the kind of day where I used to binge after the kids are in bed, I now just have a bite of something, if anything at all and then I go do my workout.  After my workout, any desire for food is usually gone.  If not, just have a bite.  Seriously.  I know that the saying goes to "replace negative behaviors for positive" and I agree with that.  But often times, when you are just getting started on your journey, or if you have partially or even completely fallen off the wagon, that isn't easy and it's the little hang-ups that make it hard to get started or to continue.  I spent years saying "I'll do better tomorrow" and tomorrow took years to come.  So if you are starting to be serious and ready to make the changes needed to get on your journey and stay there, cut yourself some slack and take things slow.  Slow and steady wins the race.

I really would like to finish my secondary goal of loosing 10 more pounds before the end of the year, but realistically, it most likely won't happen.  I have 31 days, it's the holidays, life is beyond busy, and if even one virus gets into the house, there is no way I'll be able to focus on such a goal.  Just the pressure of the goal itself is enough to make me want to eat.  So, I'll give it a good effort, maybe I'll reach the goal, probably won't, and I am okay with the outcome because I am okay with where I am.  Take the pressure away and you have more control.  Just getting through December at my current weight is a huge accomplishment and I can't discredit myself for that. 

So you CAN have your cake and eat it too.  Enjoy a few bites and get moving!!  Who wouldn't want to enjoy the foods they like AND wear the size and have the health they truly desire?  It is possible and I am proving it to myself each day!!

Day 332-Thanksgiving Weekend

Prayers were answered and I was able to taste my plate at our family dinner feast.  It was an interesting year since most of us were either getting over a virus or beginning one!  I was touch and go there for a bit, but about an hour before we ate, I suddenly felt clear and not stuffy, I felt pretty good!

I had been taking Emergen'C since the very first moment I felt like I was getting sick.  I swear by this stuff!  I think this is the reason I made it through the holiday without being stuck in bed.  I even had the energy to be able to help my mom out, she was really sick but pushed herself through so that we could enjoy a lovely Thanksgiving.

So, my plans were changed.  I wasn't able to work out as much as I wanted or hoped to.  I did smaller workouts because I was just too achy and weak to do full workouts.  The whole weekend I struggled with sugar cravings and portions.  I honestly felt like I used to.  Crazy how you can spend a whole year changing habits and behaviors, and within a couple of days you can resort back to what you are trying to avoid.

I learned something HUGE.  I have said it before, I honestly believe it, but this extended holiday weekend just proved it once again.  It's ALL ABOUT EXERCISE!!  Without my typical, sweaty workout, I had a hard time with my eating, the way I felt, my time on the scale.  (It was up a pound)  I did a full workout today.  At first it was way hard!  I wondered if I hadn't yet fully recovered from my illness.  Luckily something interesting was on the TV and I was able to push through and get it done, but I am surprised by how much and how fast a body can change when you deviate from routine.

It was a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.  I had a wonderful time with family, had wonderful meals with everyone, and I learned a lot!  You can try to loose weight by your food choices alone, but it can be very slow and challenging.  You can also try to loose weight solely by working out, but if you don't change your eating habits, although you are gaining a better heart and body, you may not be seeing the results on the scale as fast as you would like and end up giving up the much needed exercise.  You need both to have results!  Eating better makes it easier to workout and working out makes it easier to eat better.  It has been proven to me once again.

Day 316 - One More Tip to Add to Yesterday's Post

DO NOT KEEP ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE THAT IS A TEMPTATION TO YOU!

temp·ta·tion (tmp-tshn):
   1. Something that seduces or has the quality to seduce.
   2. The desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid.

Why have something so powerful in your house pulling against your desire to do better?  For me personally, I have proven to myself this year that I can do pretty good in the beginning.  But keep that temptation in the house for a few days, my resistance to do good weakens and I often find myself thinking, "Let's just finish this off so it's gone and I can stop picking at it."  Not good.  Not good at all.  But if I keep it out and away, I am okay!  I LOVE to bake, so if I can make something, enjoy it the first day and then share with others immediately, all is well.  I am not one who likes to torture themselves with keeping temptation within reach, it makes it hard to stick to my convictions.

Day 315 - A Few Tips on How to Avoid Overeating

I like to eat.  In the past I have often overate and at times binged.  It would be easy for me to make my past actions present.  Every day I need to make a conscience decision to keep those habits in the past.  How have I been able to do it?  The following are a few things that are working for me:

1. I have to make the conscience (not passive) decision to want to take care of my body.  I need to make a firm decision that I am going to make good decisions. I have to literally tell myself that I want to do better in my eating, to eat in a manner that I need to so I can stay healthy. If I don't, I am passively giving myself permission to have one more day of bad food choices, overeating and feeling like a failure.  Back in those days of struggle, I would scream it to myself and often times, I would ignore it.  As each day passes, my internal voice doesn't have to be as loud either. Now, I can just think it, "Good choices." 

2. I need to give myself a split second to think about what I am going to eat when it's something that tempts me.  I used to hear it all the time in my WW meetings.  "Visualize what you want to achieve.  Visualize what you are eating.  Visualize.  Visualize. Visualize."  Used to make me crazy!!  I thought, if I am going to think about that brownie so much, of course I am going to eat it!!  But this year, I finally got it.  It clicked.  I made visualization work!  I first noticed back in March.  I had just started to make some progress loosing a few pounds.  We were at a social event and they were serving one of my most favorite desserts, and it was HOMEMADE. It is easier for me to avoid fake, processed treats, but when it's homemade?  That is my weakness.  They were serving brownies with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge.  At first I panicked.  How was I going to make it through this?  I had been so good but I felt like I was on the edge, that on any moment, with the right temptation, I was going to loose it and return to that dark place I was at the beginning of the year.  Suddenly my mind worked for me.  For a split second I visualized how I would feel after I ate the whole thing.  That milky coating on my tongue. That sweet overload of the senses when the spoon flops into the empty bowl.  The guilt of knowing I just lost control...again.  After passing through those feelings, that brownie sundae no longer held me in it's control.  I felt empowered.  I didn't want to feel like I knew I was going to feel.  I also knew if I deprived myself, my sense of control could snap and I could just loose it.  So I asked my son for a bite of his.  That was one delicious bite...and that was all I needed.  For the rest of the evening, I was satisfied, complete.  That brownie sundae no longer mattered. Now when faced with a temptation, I take that split second to really visualize, and I can find the control needed to make the choice that brings health and keeps me in my new jeans. :o)

3. Working out during my trouble time really helps to control the munchies.  My most challenging time of day with eating is after dinner.  I used to pack in nearly a days worth of calories after dinner during the time I was trying to "relax" from my day.  When I hop on my elliptical soon after dinner, that workout completely curbs any cravings.  I have also learned that if I can wrap myself up into something with my hands during my trouble time, I am completely distracted.  A good book, a crochet or any craft project for that matter, will keep my hands busy and my mouth empty too.

Day 313 - 2 Pounds Closer!

I really didn't expect this, but when I hopped on the scale, it was down 2 more pounds!  I just had to share!  This time of the year is so hard to focus on losing weight.  The weather is cooler, so baking is much more inviting.  The holiday season is picking up so there are more reasons for treats and fun foods you aren't typically around. 

I admit that I have been eating more than I would like to.  I am not binging, but I haven't been passing on the sweets.  The only thing different from last year to this year is that I am still exericsing every day.  Can maintenence at a healthy weight really be as easy as exercising daily?  If so, then you'll find me doing it everyday because I like to eat and I am really liking my new shape.  I can go to any store I like and actually find something I want to wear.  This is a new concept, it's convenient and it's healthy on the mind too.

So looking back on this post Halloween week to see why I lost 2 pounds, I have learned that if you can keep your body moving, it will work with you.  When you are ignoring your body's need to move and exercise, it totally works against you.  It really is all about exercise and eating moderatly.  Although I enjoyed Halloween, the rest of the week I had my simple breakfast of bran and simple lunch.  I didn't snack because I was just too busy to do so.  Dinner was typical, but with the weather changing, I even had a little bigger servings.  Although I exercised daily, I did something different, and maybe this was the reason.  This week was so busy that I found myself using the excuse, "I am tired and I don't really want to workout. Instead of doing 30 minutes, I'll do 15  and crank up the resisitence."  Maybe 15 minutes at level 15 is as effective as 30 minutes at level 10?  The ellipitical works those large leg muscles which do burn the most calories.  Maybe that is an effective substitute?

I think one of the most interesting things about this journey are the things I have learned along the way.  I hope you have been able to learn a little from my experience as well.  Have a wonderful day!

Day 303 - The Danger of Sugar

I know sugar is bad.  You know sugar is bad.  We all know sugar is bad news!!  If given the choice though between sugar and artificial sweenteners, hands down, I'll take sugar!  It's natural, not made in a lab!

For the last year I have been trying to keep my sugar consumption in moderation.  I admit, I LOVE Sweetarts and all things sour gummy, but I really try to avoid the sweets because at the end of the day, you feel lousy and your teeth are all fuzzy against your tongue.  (Ever notice that after a day of sugar?)

So yesterday a dear family friend of ours dropped by to give the kids some Halloween bags of treats.  I asked for a vanilla Toosie Roll and a red Dot.  I was good to go.  But the kids kept sharing with me in their excitement to eat more.  So I ended up eating a couple more pieces.  It wasn't that much, not even close to what I normally would have consumed, but more than I have been used to.

The strangest thing happened at dinner time.  I felt like I was STARVING!!!  You know the feeling.  When you are in such a craze of hunger, you can't think straight.  When the Papa Murphy's Gourmet Veggie came out of the oven, if my mouth had been big enough, I would have jammed the whole thing in.  I was ravenous!  I haven't felt like this in a loooooooooong time!  I barely got through the blessing on the food, I felt like I was going to cry if I had to wait any longer, and I took a huge mouthful within 1 millisecond after saying "Amen."  After a few minutes of eating, as my mood slowly returned to normal, I thought about what the heck I just experienced.  When you feel like that, not only can you 1. not control yourself but 2. there is no way of keeping track of what you eat.  How can a person be successful in the weight loss journey or maintence control when feeling like that?  You can't!

I recognized that feeling, it wasn't completely unformailiar, but it's something I haven't experienced in at least a year.  Looking over the past year, I have been able to control my appetite much better they I usually do.  I have also been watching my intake of sugar.  Pondering, and putting two and two together I realized it had to be the sugar factor!! I had some candy around 2 and by the time 6 rolled around, I felt out of control.  More candy = increased appetite.  Now I didn't eat the whole pizza, but I did eat more than I usually do.  In fact, I ate so fast I am not sure how many pieces I actually ate.  3? maybe 4?  So to be on the safe side, being tired or not, I found a TV show to focus on and I did 30 minutes until I was sweating hard.  I probably should have done it longer, but my hubby was waiting to hop on.  :o)

So lesson learned.  If you want to stay in control of your appetite, which is important because then you can better control your eating, AVOID SUGAR especially CANDY that is made out of straight sugar.  It just sets you up for failure!!

Day 302 - It's All About the Exercise

This morning, while I lay in bed contemplating getting up, the thought occured to me...there are only 2 more months remaining of the year!  I plan on trying to loose 10 more pounds, but I thought there was more time?  Come September 1st each year, time changes.  Maybe it's because I start thinking in "Holiday Mode?"  I swear time speeds up and more things end up on the "to do" list!

So recently, I haven't been able to give it a 100% effort to get those last 10 off.  In fact, I find myself starting to eat just a little more this and a little more that.  I have been eating a little more than I would like, not like I used to, but more than I would if I really wanted to drop some more weight.  The wonderful thing is, I keep at the same weight!!  Why? Because of the exercise!  Exercising regularly is keeping my weight at bay.  The biggest thing I have learned is that if you are exercising regularly, your body and diet are much more forgiving than if you don't.  If I can continue to eat like I have been and maintain as long as I am exericsing, I can deal.  Seriously!  Now I am not talking about full bore exercising either!  For the last couple of weeks, I have been super tired, almost like I was on the verge of getting sick, but I didn't get sick.  I was just tired.  (Maybe the baby's transition in schedule might have something to do with that?)  SO in efforts to not make matters worse and completely stress my body out, I dropped the time of working out to 15 min.  On days I felt a little more pep in my step, I bumped it back to 30 minutes.  One day I was feeling really good, had an awesome book and I did the elliptical for 90 minutes!!  (Mental note: get more GOOD books)  What I am basically saying is that as long as you are regularly doing something to move your body, if you go a little over on the eating, everything will be okay.  I know I put on most my weight when I felt like I made a mistake.  The "Well, I screwed up, may as enjoy the rest of the day and start over tomorrow" sort of thinking.  That thinking NEVER works and you only set yourself up for failure when you do.  EVERY TIME.  Forgive yourself and stay the course, move on, do better from the last bite on.  Don't wait until tomorrow to do better.  Tomorrow may be 40 pounds and a decade later. (Personal experience)

We are approaching a time where baking becomes plentiful and opportunity for goodies increase.  It's inevitable!  Time also tends to be stretched thinner as well.  These two events alone contradict each other.  To really focus on making the change to loose weight takes time to process and focus on, especially in the beginning.  Having sweets and treats more easily accessible, makes it easier to partake without much thought.  If you are too busy to think of your weight loss goals and can grab holiday goodness without thinking, you can see the problem there. It can be a vicious cycle and can be such a treacherous time of year if one isn't careful.  I personally think I gained 10 pounds last December alone, and that wasn't the first December it happened either.  (I love to bake and make candy for gifts)

The game plan this year?  Not to deprive, but not to indulge either.  Be selective with what I consume, only the best (which means home made most of the time).  In doing this, AND exercising, I know I will get through the holidays at the same weight.  I really do want to drop some more, and I intend to, but if I can't, I am certainly okay with maintenance!!  Can you guess what 2010's goal will be if I don't make it?  Yep, 10 in 10!!

Day 301 - Amazing What a Year Can Do

This morning I woke up and there was definately a change in the weather!  I love living in California!!  It seems like you get just enough of a season, and then it changes!  The garden is nearly done, the trees and grapevines are slowly changing colors and loosing their leaves.  This is my most favorite time of the year!  I love the color, the temperature and the excitement of the anticipating holidays that are coming up.

So this morning, I need to find something that was warmer than shorts and a shirt.  I had to dig in the closet for my sweats.  As I did so, I remember them being tight from last year.  I dreaded putting them on and then I remember I am a lot lighter than I was last year.  (Yea, I was still sleepy when I was getting dressed) I then got excited to see how everything fit!  I have a few things that are going to Goodwill because they are just not going to work!  Other items, items I wasn't able to squeeze in last year went on effortlessly.  :o)  I saw my reflection in the mirror and I was actually pleased with what I saw.  ???  I don't think I have ever really been "pleased" with my reflection before!!  Seriously!!  Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not claiming perfection, or even "doneness" with my journey, uh-uh, no way!  What I am saying is that I wasn't completely repulsed by it.  For the last couple of decades, I wouldn't look in the mirror at my body.  What was the point?  Don't want to start the day depressed!  So I do find myself taking peeks now and then and it's fun to be surprised.  I still have a little ways to go.  I swear the next 10 pounds will soley come off my backside, so I know there will be a big change there when I am finished. But it's nice to look in the mirror and feel happy or at least hopeful for a change.  That is certainly something to get used to I have to say.  You wouldn't think so, but after spending sooooooo long not liking your reflection, it is strange to feel at peace with it.

What made me feel compelled to write this morning was that I started to think about the last year.  It hasn't been quite a year that I started my journey.  In fact, last year at this time I just had a baby and I was absolutely hating the way I physically felt!  I had baby blues, probably PPD because it took over a year to shake it, and there are some days I think it's lingering around.  But what a difference a year makes!!!  Seriously!  My physical body has done a 180 since last year.  Has it been hard?  I wouldn't think so.  Just have to keep going.  Take one day at a time.  Don't stop and don't give in.  One foot after the other.  As I mentioned before, I am soooo not done yet, so I really shouldn't be reflecting on the year yet, but I just had to take time and share my thoughts.  A year is a long time and they seem to be flying by faster each year.  Years for me now seem a lot shorter then they did when I was a kid.  But a year is a long enough time to make drastic changes in your life whether it's physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally.  We just can't underestimate what can be done in a year.

Day 295 - Funny, Silly, Female Brain

Seriously, why are our brains constantly messing with us?  Why do our eyes fail us?  This week I have been feeling a little like I used to.  I swear I feel like I have gained a few pounds.  I look in the mirror, the reflection is the same.  I hop on the scale, it also hasn't changed.  I put on my clothes, nothing new.  So what is the deal??

When I used to feel like this I would just eat whatever I felt like, in large quantities.  It was almost like I was punishing myself for being overweight.  The thought was, "Well, I'm overweight, I feel like poo, may as eat things that taste divine.  I would ignore my better judgement and just eat.  Sometimes I would crave and unless I ate what I was craving, I would just keep eating.  I remember eating salty popcorn and then crave something sweet, brownies.  Then after that, I would want something salty, chips.  Then later, ice cream...  It was sad and I never did that when anyone was around because I would have been incredibly embarrassed. 

When I did Weight Watchers a few years ago, I was successful in loosing weight there, but I always felt on the edge. Like at any time I could slip and just go overboard.  (Which I did after having my 3rd baby)  Looking back and thinking about my WW experience, I was loosing weight, but I didn't change the habits.  There were nights where I would start with salty popcorn in a measured amount, then I would move onto a serving of fat free brownie cookies, then I would go back to the popcorn (let's face it, low fat chips taste like paper) and then I would move on to "Skinny Cow" ice creams."  On a rough day I would save a lot of my points just so I could gorge at night on junk.  I stayed within my point range, I lost weight, but I did it by beating the system.  But did I? When you try to beat the weight loss journey, it always comes back to bite you in the bum.  In my case, by adding everything I ate to my bum!  :o)

So I am learning that there are times are brain just freaks out for no reason!  We just feel heavy. We are females, with cycles and as soon as you accept that our bodies are not our own, the battle is easier because you stop fighting it and start to learn to listen to it.  By listening to our bodies, we can begin to work with it.  What I am hearing is that I need to refocus on what I am eating and to start thinking about my portions.  This is the time of year where there are lots of wonderful foods, warm foods, gooey foods.  I am a picker, and if I am not careful I could pick myself into a few extra pounds.  My game plan?  Don't take my eating for granted.  I need to focus and think before I eat.  Make my plate and don't go back for seconds.  If I am snacky, find something healthy that will curb the appetite.  DRINK MY WATER!!!

SIDE NOTE: A new snack that I am loving!  You can't eat a ton, and if you eat more than you would like, not a biggie, because it's a tomato after all.  Dehydrated tomatoes from my garden nearly taste like candy. They have a strong, sweet, savory flavor so after a few you are done with snacking.  Such an unexpected delight!

Day 286 - A Warm, Healthy Drink on a Cold Day

I am a muncher.  A grazer.  A snacker.  Whatever you want to call it, it all means the same.  I am home most of the time, and it's so easy to just snack unconsciously throughout the day.  Heck, I gained 10-15 pounds when we first started homeschooling because it's easy to do between subjects!!  I also eat when I am stressed.  So if there are things going on in life, it's easy to just snack my way through the issues.  This comes natural to me.

During this journey I have found that although grazing is so easy to do, I had to stop it.  It is too easy to get extra calories in without even being aware of it.  I have found that if I can fill myself up with fluid, I not only can curb the munchies, but i can also get extra water in.  When I speak of fluid, I am referring to water.  I always forget to drink my water, I swear I am mostly in a dehydrated state.  This isn't a good thing when trying to loose weight and I need to do better.  You need water to flush your system!  Not soda, not coffee, not anything with chemicals, just pure, clean, water.  When I consume fluid, I mostly do this, drink water.  In a year, the number of sodas I consume, I probably can count on my left hand.  The stuff offers nothing good for your body, nothing.  I have read that for every soda you consume you should also drink a glass of water because it takes water from your system to flush the toxins out of your system.  It's bad stuff and the farther away you can get from the stuff, the better off your health will be. 

A little trick that satisfies both needs is that I try to drink mugs full of warm fluid through out the day.  My two most favorite beverages is Pero with a little milk and herbal tea with a splash of milk.  Sometimes at the end of the day, around 9ish, especially if I had a light dinner, a little hunger twinge might hit my tummy.  A big mugful of one of these hits the spot and kills that feeling.

This is considered a coffee substitute and it tastes like it too.  I don't drink coffee, but this is just as good.  It's really tasty with some sugar, but I try to keep the calories down so I just add a few tablespoons of milk.  Read the ingredients.  If you are trying to kick a coffee habit, this will help in the process.  When I am feeling like a special treat, it's super tasty with a coffee flavoring like Coffee-mate.

This is my favorite herbal right now because there is choice.  Every flavor is so tasty and they have a natural sweetness so it's easy to pass up the sugar bowl.  A shot of milk adds a creamy to it that is really satisfying.  I am a little excited from this image because the Fruit Tea Sampler I have has an orange flavor instead of blueberry.  I am excited to try some blueberry!

Day 279 - Unexpected Benefit of my Goal

Yesterday, in efforts to expand our garden area, we pulled some grapevines out.  (We live in the middle of my parents vineyard) My father and husband used a forklift to pull the vines out, the kids and I watched in excitement.  After that was done, I jumped in to help clear the field.  The vines aren't too heavy, maybe 25 pounds or so, but they are awkward to carry.  We had a routine going.  My husband would cut the thick wires (I had a hard time not having enough hand strength-what can I say, I have girly hands!) that once held the vines to the trellis and I carried them to a big pile. (Notice how small the full sized tractor looks next to the pile?  Yea, it's a big pile!) I nearly stacked this whole pile myself too!  When the pile was done, we went through and collected all the steel stakes, along with the kids, and made a pile of those too. It took a few hours to complete the entire task.  Every so often, it's good for the soul to do hard labor.  I was tired, and I thought for sure that I would be very sore today.

Upon waking this morning, to my surprise, I am not sore!!  Not a bit!!  I am really surprised and just had to blog about it!!  I know that working out and losing weight has benefits, there are many obvious ones.  But the benefit I am seeing this morning is one I didn't see coming.  Being in shape gives us an opportunity to do more with our bodies without paying for it.  I still can't believe I am not sore and stiff, what a blessing of the goal!